Mega Markle.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
In light of his record with these mega-projects, Elon Musk's proposed new Miami-tunnel gives new meaning to the term

"car-pool tunnel syndrome."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call 1000 laughing mega bytes?

A gigglebyte.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkMaldova227
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Some people say that mega churches exist to make money

But I think they are all about the prophets

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Mega bit
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EC097
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Anyone can get a mega dong for about 40 dollars wolframalpha.com/input/?i…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teukkam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I didn't know Mega Man had kids!

https://i.redd.it/az42rtdf95u11.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Electroverted
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
this is the best mega man pun ever TomPreston.deviantart.com…
πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathbyChiasmus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2012
🚨︎ report
My 3 year old cousin told me this mega-cringe Grandfather joke

>What is the difference between a bird and a fly?

A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!

Tell me about it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mershian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2014
🚨︎ report
My wife hit me on the head with a bottle of Concentrated Omega-3 capsules this morning.

I'm okay though.....it was just a super fish oil wound.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yeahmaybe2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Insta?

What is a 1000x better than Instagram?

INSTAKILO.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoned_Emperor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I replaced my steering wheel with a computer storage device

It was a hard drive

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamThere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I once walked in on my teachers having sex

Being homeschooled was never easy for me

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad...I have an imaginary girlfriend

His dad says,” you know..you could do better, right?”

β€œThanks dad. That means a lot.”

β€œI wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to your girlfriend.”

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ivytheblindhusky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gay dinosaur?

Mega-sore-ass

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the gigabyte so full?

Because he had too many mega bytes!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/False17
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hoard of a million Latin-speaking gigantic sharks?

MegaLodon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vs424reddit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of dinosaur couldn't sit down?

A mega-sore-ass

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur who eats curry?

Mega-sore-ass

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/a_dance_with_fire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
He ate it bit by bit...
πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Deb_Eternity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do we want...? Low altitude flyovers!

When do we want them?

NNNNNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
How do electricians warn each other about dangers on the job?

"Careful: this mega hurts"

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tuto193
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My rental car is making a really high pitched noise.

It Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_UR_MACHINING
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in the backside?

A mega sore ass.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur that’s does too much CrossFit ?

A MegaSOREus Rex !

My daughter hit me with this one this am on the way to school !

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WinterDad32
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
[OC] The prehistoric shark in a limbo competition asked the presiding official, Don, to lower the bar. β€œLow enough?” Don asked.

β€œNo, I want it even lower. I want it mega-low, Don.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/budcuddly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a computer eat when it’s hungry?

Micro chips

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/noobmoney_rs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a lion and a computer have in common?

They both have mega bites.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/byronfry95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
All my friends have such long and complicated bucket lists.

Mine is a little pail in comparison.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Jeff has had only one dream ever in his life, to become a train conductor.

Jeff went to his local train station and begged for the job. He got a job, as a janitor. Every day he swept the train car floors. To make his job easier, he added certain style to his sweeping technique. He used a 3 level system for how powerful he wanted to sweep. He had a small sweep for small piles of dust. Medium sweeps for leftover chip bags and plactic bottles. And the Super Mega Large sweeps for when there were spider webs as big as the train.

Jeff was a master sweeper, so he got Promoted!.. To hobo kicking. Nowadays he comes to the train station early in the morning, finds the nearest hobo, and kicks him out. However, Jeff's legs hurt after several strong kicks, so he used his 3 level system in hobo kicking. He had a small kick for tiny, bite sized hobos. Medium kicks for your average sized hobo. And his Super Mega Powerful kick for 300 pound hobos.

Jeff was sooooo good at kicking hobos and he was Promoted!.. to coal shoveling. Jeff arrives 20 minutes before his train departure, loads up with the conductor, and shovels coal. likewise with his legs, Jeff's arms got tired after several large piles of shoveled coal, so he used his 3 level system to rest Jeff's weak arms. Jeff dumps small piles of coal in the incinerator to send the train at a slow pace. He dumps a Medium pile for a somewhat fast pace. But when the train station's 30 miles away and he's scheduled to arrive in 7 minutes, Jeff uses his Big Gargantuan Humongous shoveling strength to send the train at super sonic speed!

After all of Jeff's many years of working for this train station, they finally promote him to Train Conductor! Jeff shows up to work 30 minutes early on his first day, conducts the train for his first time ever, and crashes the train. He injures 30 and kills 13 more. Jeff is sentenced to Death.

The day of Jeff's execution, he's asked for his last meal. Jeff tells the guard that he wants a 13 foot stack of pancakes and a 40 ounce jug of green Kool-Aid. Jeff takes exactly 34 minutes to eat with it all. 26 Mintues later, Jeff is taken to the electric chair.

Jeff sits down in the electric chair, and is strapped in by a nearby guard. After all the safety precautions, they turn on the electric chair.

BZZZZZZ

Nothin happened. The guard is confused and Jeff is confused. The guard trys it again.

BZZZZZZ

Nothing. Jeff doesn't even move a muscle. The guard decides to let Jeff go since he can't kill him. Before Jeff leaves, the guard has one question.

Guard : "Excuse me um, J

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Saspa314
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do Japanese and Europeans call the first book of the Bible?

The Mega Drive.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Mariposa5487
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
My cousin dropped his computer on his foot....

He says it MegaHertz.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Funny name for a Rat character in D&D?

I made a rat character who managed to lose his name, and now I have to find a new one. I was hoping /r/puns could help me make my DM facepalm.

Helpful information: Is aquatic (half-fish) Stole the core out of a water elemental once. Accidentally killed a dragon. Original alias: Mega Rat.

I know there's a joke in here somewhere, I just can't find it. Thanks for any help!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/markdeedavis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
🚨︎ report
A hungry computer programmer

takes mega-bytes

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBeerded
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
🚨︎ report
I hear Trump's inauguration speech is going to be electrical

It'll generate mega-whats.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/otterland
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
🚨︎ report
What do Robots snack on?

Computer chips!

What do they do when they're hungry?

Take Mega-bytes!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LuminalGrunt2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2017
🚨︎ report
my grandfather told the family to behave themselves when I brought my girlfriend over for dinner

He told my brothers and even my dad to be on their best behaviour, and not to be making inappropriate jokes at the dinner table.

We'd just sat down to dinner when he turned and asked my girlfriend

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega Sore Ass!"

πŸ‘︎ 232
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roryok
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2013
🚨︎ report
I told my Dad that I was downloading a game at 4.5 Megabytes per second.

"The last mega bite I heard of was a sandwich shop."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ACrowComeOver
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2016
🚨︎ report
A Pokemon joke

My brothers, discussing the new Pokemon game: "I wish they would give Flygon a mega-evolution!"

Me: "Well guys, sometimes you just gotta let Flygons be Flygons"

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aptmurph
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Dinner time dad jokes

Sitting at dinner with my 8yo son. I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he said, an NBA player or a soccer player. I said, "what's something you'd be that isn't sports related?" he said "probably a computer machine" I think he meant, computer programmer, engineer..

So to take advantage of the situation and get him to eat, I said "well son, if you want to be a computer machine, you better take some... 'Mega Bytes' of that Chilli!" hilarity ensued as you might have guessed :)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iAmDrakesEyebrows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.