But I think they are all about the prophets
A gigglebyte.
https://i.redd.it/az42rtdf95u11.jpg
>What is the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!
Tell me about it.
Because he had too many mega bytes!
His dad says,” you know..you could do better, right?”
“Thanks dad. That means a lot.”
“I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to your girlfriend.”
A mega-sore-ass
Mega-sore-ass
Being homeschooled was never easy for me
A MegaSOREus Rex !
My daughter hit me with this one this am on the way to school !
“No, I want it even lower. I want it mega-low, Don.”
"Careful: this mega hurts"
Jeff went to his local train station and begged for the job. He got a job, as a janitor. Every day he swept the train car floors. To make his job easier, he added certain style to his sweeping technique. He used a 3 level system for how powerful he wanted to sweep. He had a small sweep for small piles of dust. Medium sweeps for leftover chip bags and plactic bottles. And the Super Mega Large sweeps for when there were spider webs as big as the train.
Jeff was a master sweeper, so he got Promoted!.. To hobo kicking. Nowadays he comes to the train station early in the morning, finds the nearest hobo, and kicks him out. However, Jeff's legs hurt after several strong kicks, so he used his 3 level system in hobo kicking. He had a small kick for tiny, bite sized hobos. Medium kicks for your average sized hobo. And his Super Mega Powerful kick for 300 pound hobos.
Jeff was sooooo good at kicking hobos and he was Promoted!.. to coal shoveling. Jeff arrives 20 minutes before his train departure, loads up with the conductor, and shovels coal. likewise with his legs, Jeff's arms got tired after several large piles of shoveled coal, so he used his 3 level system to rest Jeff's weak arms. Jeff dumps small piles of coal in the incinerator to send the train at a slow pace. He dumps a Medium pile for a somewhat fast pace. But when the train station's 30 miles away and he's scheduled to arrive in 7 minutes, Jeff uses his Big Gargantuan Humongous shoveling strength to send the train at super sonic speed!
After all of Jeff's many years of working for this train station, they finally promote him to Train Conductor! Jeff shows up to work 30 minutes early on his first day, conducts the train for his first time ever, and crashes the train. He injures 30 and kills 13 more. Jeff is sentenced to Death.
The day of Jeff's execution, he's asked for his last meal. Jeff tells the guard that he wants a 13 foot stack of pancakes and a 40 ounce jug of green Kool-Aid. Jeff takes exactly 34 minutes to eat with it all. 26 Mintues later, Jeff is taken to the electric chair.
Jeff sits down in the electric chair, and is strapped in by a nearby guard. After all the safety precautions, they turn on the electric chair.
BZZZZZZ
Nothin happened. The guard is confused and Jeff is confused. The guard trys it again.
BZZZZZZ
Nothing. Jeff doesn't even move a muscle. The guard decides to let Jeff go since he can't kill him. Before Jeff leaves, the guard has one question.
Guard : "Excuse me um, J
... keep reading on reddit ➡When do we want them?
NNNNNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW!
A mega sore arse
A mega sore ass.
Micro chips
Mine is a little pail in comparison.
They both have mega bites.
It Hertz
The Mega Drive.
He says it MegaHertz.
It'll generate mega-whats.
Computer chips!
What do they do when they're hungry?
Take Mega-bytes!
I made a rat character who managed to lose his name, and now I have to find a new one. I was hoping /r/puns could help me make my DM facepalm.
Helpful information: Is aquatic (half-fish) Stole the core out of a water elemental once. Accidentally killed a dragon. Original alias: Mega Rat.
I know there's a joke in here somewhere, I just can't find it. Thanks for any help!
He told my brothers and even my dad to be on their best behaviour, and not to be making inappropriate jokes at the dinner table.
We'd just sat down to dinner when he turned and asked my girlfriend
"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega Sore Ass!"
"The last mega bite I heard of was a sandwich shop."
My brothers, discussing the new Pokemon game: "I wish they would give Flygon a mega-evolution!"
Me: "Well guys, sometimes you just gotta let Flygons be Flygons"
Sitting at dinner with my 8yo son. I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he said, an NBA player or a soccer player. I said, "what's something you'd be that isn't sports related?" he said "probably a computer machine" I think he meant, computer programmer, engineer..
So to take advantage of the situation and get him to eat, I said "well son, if you want to be a computer machine, you better take some... 'Mega Bytes' of that Chilli!" hilarity ensued as you might have guessed :)
