Greatly Puns

If you want to join you need to seek six sick Sikhs sect.

But my publisher told me that word games are not what I excel at.

I forgot the link.

We were leaving a pet shop that had the standard assortment of fish, lizards, birds, and hamsters and my daughter said she wanted a fish. We have two cats and I told her that might be a bad idea. I then added that the big problem with fish is that you can't cuddle a fish like you can with cats. She responded by saying "you can with a cuttlefish."

She probably watches too many nature shows.

I wanna ask a girl to prom this year, and I know she loves my puns, so I wanna pun my way to ask her. I feel this time it's okay to steal some ideas, for this to go well. :) can someone give me a good pun to help drop the question of going to prom together? Thanks so much!!! Wish me luck!!! :) :) :)

I came home today to a dark house, quickly learned that the power had been out for hours. Walked into my roomate's bedroom, they're sitting on the bed.

Me: "So I hear you're feeling a little... powerless."

I swear on all things holy that at that very fucking moment the lights flickered on. We just sat there in disbelief for a moment. My puns are that god damned good. I must use the power well (stealth pun PSA: love the environment).

It's called Punfound, on android and ios. Check it out!

Alright you punny people, I need help. I’m making a cake for a man. It’s his birthday, his wife is having a baby, and it is his last day at his current job. Current job is buying the cake and told me to write something funny including all the occasions. I’m not creative when put on the spot so I have completely drawn a blank on a great pun! Much appreciated!!

I’m building a website for a new cafe and Coworking space opening in the area. The owner loves humour and wants to reflect that in the site. Does anyone have any great puns or other humorous ideas to do with cafes or working spaces? Thanks a million!

I’m sending out a call to help me get a great pun for my routers name. All applicants are appreciated.

I was out to dinner with my boyfriend and his dad, and my boyfriend was telling us about his new job. Bf: “I’ll have to start waking up earlier than usual, I need to be up and at ‘em by 6.” Me: “Adam? I thought you were Matt!” Bf: “Wow...”

He sighed as his dad and I laughed and high fived, we had been making awful (or great?) puns all night. I may be a girl but I’ll definitely be in charge of the dad jokes when we have kids!

Great pun my dad posted to his facebook last night while we were at the pearl jam in Tampa... I didn't even notice until I got home:

"Doesn't get Eddie Vedder than this"

My friend is designing a t-shirt for Folk Fest and needs a witty, all-ages-appropriate pun to go on it, but neither her, nor I or my fiancee can come up with one. The image on the front is of a beardy man playing the tuba, with a bird (Cardinal, I think?) coming out of it that's playing the drums. Out of the bass drum is crawling a cracked-out-looking dude wearing flannel, who's playing the guitar-looking instrument, with arms coming out of that playing the triangle. A great pun for the shirt with the word "Folk" in it would be much appreciated, and I know you guys are good at making puns, so fire away! Reddit, lend me your puns!

I'm working on a great pun but I can't figure out how to finish it, and I haven't had enough sleep (night shift).

"When parting, instead of adios, I'm going to start saying asiago. Yeah I know it's cheesy but..."

Anyone got any good finishers?

It was as big as the last two combined!

Thanks, I sharpened it.

I guess she really likes being corrected on her grammar.

Same middle name

It can kick people in the groan

For example I have a 9 inch penis and she doesn't know which way round to hold a ruler.

They told me they were looking for someone responsible! I told them this was perfect, whenever something went wrong at my old job they always said I was responsible.

Because he lived in a pen!

So very proud!

Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.

... guess something went awry

Every bag of chips is family sized.

Wife: Sweet! How much are we talking??

Husband: Well it is normally $1000, but this time I got $1000.02!!!!!!!

Wife: ...thats not that great.

Husband: Well I think it is, but that’s just my two cents.

It’s called War and Peas.

My friend is having a daughter soon and has yet to come up with a name, so she made the mistake of asking for suggestions. I need help coming up with some great pun names to suggest to her. Some notes:

• Her last name is Bridges.

• As I said, it's a girl (so something like "London" is out).

• I've already thought of Madison and Brooklyn.

Any suggestions?

Comes great electricity Bill

They all have the same middle name.