He said he doesn’t know ‘cos he had never smoked coconut matting.
The prophets were through the roof!
I couldn't stand to work without it.
It was dreadful.
NOTHING!
Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
They had the worst Duplo-mats. It all fell to pieces...
I took him out for a drag last night
I used to have a job selling exploding prayer mats.
Prophets were through the roof.
Hey guys, relatively new dad here. Pretty proud of myself because this came naturally. My 7 mo daughter, wife and I were hiking yesterday. My daughter was strapped to the front of me, and she started to stink. We found a field to lay her on her changing mat and change her diaper. She had a complete explosion so it required an outfit change. I looked up at my wife and said “looks like I’ll be performing a field dressing”. Corny af I know, but it made my wife laugh 😆!
It was just something to fall back on
So far the prophets are soaring.
She claims it’s a gateway rug.
The salesman assured me the prophets would go through the roof!
It felt great!
I don’t anymore, but it’s nice to have something to fall back on.
Friend texts me: Can you leave a key fir me under the mat? Me: Maple I will, Maple I won’t. Friend: ? Me: Pine, I’ll leave a key Friend: oh, my typo, haha Me: I’ve got a bunch more Buckeye will wait til later to tell you.
Carpet Diem
I asked how his business is doing, he said: "Great! Prophets are through the roof!"
Four on the floor.
Prophets went through the roof.
"Hi you must be Matt." The mat replies "Haha, you're so dorky" "No I've just got a little door key in me."
Art.
Two guys with no arms and no legs and hangs on your wall? Curt n Rod.
No arms and no legs in a bathtub? Dwayne.
No arms and no legs at your front door? Mat
No arms and no legs and playing in the leaves? Russell
At the city dump? Phil
It was the mat on my front stoop.
Mic.
I couldn't get in. I checked underneath the mat, in the flower pot, but then it dawned on me.
I had gnocchi.
A little boy walked in on his dad working on the PC, his tools scattered about, and a few internal components laying on an ESD(electrostatic discharge) mat.
The little boy went to pick up a part, and asked his dad, " What are those pointy things on the bottom?"
"They're pins."
"Wow, there's a lot of them. How many do they have?"
"Well, there's a few different types, so it depins."
Mat!
my father loves these jokes back in the day. whos familiar with them all?
"Would you like a beer mat?" he asked.
I said, "I prefer cider, pal. And my name isn't Matt."
Everytime I walk in and out of my house I step on my good friend Mat.
Early morning at the hotel getting ready to go the Magic Kingdom, I'm taking my 6 year old to the food court, my wife asks my mom to watch our 2 year old so she can "jump in the shower"
Mom - "I wouldn't jump, there is no mat in there, probably safer to stand." And goes back to drinking her coffee....
I cried a couple tears of joy...
Prophets are going through the roof.
The prophets are through the roof!
Prophets are going through the roof!
Prophets are going through the roof!
