I was heading to the department store to pick up some gardening supplies and my wife asked me to pick up one of those tangle free hoses.

I guess she isn’t into the kinky stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheapojoe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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Disney is releasing a version of Tangled with an alternate ending where Rapunzel's hair isn't chopped off at the end.

They're calling it the Uncut Edition.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geodude532
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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I eat tangled rope.

I shit you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/richy923
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I once knew a hoarder who kept a drawer packed full of matted and tangled hair.

It was dreadful.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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My daughter's hair is so tangled and frustrating.

It's knotty

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonenigma
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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Two space cadets got tangled up during a space walk.

They both made astro knot.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HunterSwan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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In a tangled web.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/newguy208
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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A length of rope walks into a bar and orders two shots...

the bartender kicks him out on the daily making it known that they don’t serve ropes in his bar. One day he decides that he may have better luck with a disguise, so he ties himself up in a good tangle and frantically pulls all the fibers apart at both of his cut ends. He walks back into the bar and orders two shots. The bartender says to him, β€œ Hey...aren’t you that rope I kicked out of here yesterday?”. The rope looks at him confused and says, β€œ No, I’m a frayed knot”.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5YearApril
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
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My kids are so obsessed with the lizard from the movie Tangled, we have over a thousand figures of it around the house...

Let me tell you keeping track of a kilo of Pascals is a lot of pressure

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Today I found out whether headphones would get tangled up in a vacuum.

Turns out it would knot.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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What did the child say to try and communicate with the tangled rope alien species?

I kid, you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRadishSpirit94
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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Mommy tomato, daddy tomato, and baby tomato were all out for a leisurely Sunday stroll

They walked through the flower gardens at the park. They skimmed stones across the lake. They fed the ducks bread.

It was a perfect Sunday.

Then daddy tomato had a call that his brother was in hospital. Across the road was a bus destined for that very place.

They ran back through the park dodging ducks and tripping on stones and getting tangled in foliage. Baby tomato was starting to lag a little. So daddy tomato, in a panic, shot glances at the arriving bus and his helpless offspring. He Ran to his son and with all his might squashed him into the pavement with his Dr Martins boots and said

"Ketchup"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
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A piece of rope walks into a bar...

The barman takes one look at him and says "Get out! We don't serve your type here."

The rope leaves, messes up his hair and tangles himself up a bit, then walks back into the bar.

The barman looks at him suspiciously and asks "Hey. Aren't you that piece of rope I just kicked out?"

The rope replies "No. I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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A string walks into a bar...

Bartender: β€œHey we don’t serve strings here.”

(String walks out and ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair... the string then walks back into the bar)

Bartender: β€œAre you the string that was just in here?”

String: β€œNope, I’m a frayed knot”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timaaayyy
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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My dad saw my two cousins (both dressed as Elsa) get sticks caught in their dresses

My aunt: β€œoops look like they’re tangled up” My dad: β€œthey’re Frozen not Tangled”

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zomburger257
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
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I tied two Disney DVDs with strings and placed it inside the freezer.

It's Tangled and Frozen.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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"I'm A Frayed Knot"

When People Tell Me That Joke, I Never Know What To Say. I'm Absolutely Tongue Tied. Which Is A Pity, Since It Takes Two To Tangle.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AppsPotato
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
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Thought you all would appreciate this. I have a 19yo old Cat name Scout.

I was playing a game with a friend on my PC and she started to get tangled in my cords underneath. I stopped and got her out and explained to my friend how she is going blind. And replies back with "so you mean to tell me she is no longer a scout?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chumbawamba56
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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My teacher told this to us today in class.

If you're skydiving and your parachute cord is tangled, don't worry about it. You have the rest of your life to figure it out.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Regis_DeVallis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
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Got my girlfriend today. And i ain't even a dad.

She came over to my house for a bit tonight and were getting kinda frisky. Her glasses fell off the top of her head and got tangled in her hair and we had to stop to get them out. When she finally did, she said "Sorry my hairs a little knotty." Without skipping a beat i said "I love it when you're 'knotty'." Que the end of frisky times. Worth it.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HighFlyinMerc09
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
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My dad's best joke

Three strings walk into a bar. The first string goes up to the bartender and says,

"Hello, I'd like a pitcher of beer and three frosty glasses for me and my buddies, please."

The bartender replies,

"Sorry pal, but we don't serve strings here."

Dejected, the first string returns to his friends and relays the transaction. The second string can't believe this, and walks swiftly up to the bartender and says,

"Hey, buddy. I need a pitcher of beer and three frosty glasses for me and my friends!"

The bartender sternly states,

"We don't serve strings here!" The second string returns to his friends, defeated. The third string looks at his pals and says,

"Guys, I got this."

He goes into the bathroom, unravels himself a little and tangles himself up a bit. He walks confidently up to the bartender and says with gusto,

"Bartender! You are going to give me and my friends a pitcher of your finest beer, and three frosty glasses, on the double!"

The bartender sighs and says,

"Like I told your buddies, WE DON'T SERVE STRINGS HERE."

The third string leans across the bar, chuckles, and says,

"String? I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/valinorbound
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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On a boat

I am visiting my parents, and today my dad and I went out sailing on the lake. We put the boat in, and then needed to tie it off to the dock while getting situated. My dad handed me a big tangled mess of rope, and suggested I untangle it and moor the boat with it. It was more tangled than any headphones I've seen. After a few moments I exclaimed in frustration, "who the hell put this rope away last?"
My dad quickly retorted, "I'm not sure, but they were certainly knoty."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brendanvista
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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A string walks into a bar...

The bartender tells him to get lost.

The string walks out and messes up his now tangled hair.

The string walks back in.

The bartender says "Aren't you the string I kicked out just a minute ago?"

The string goes, "Frayed knot".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godredd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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