Just one byte and everything crashed.
He wants to be an astronaut.
Good Evening mam, do you know the speed limit is 45 km/h here? Why were you going at 55?
Oh sorry, the old lady replies. I thought the interstate number was the speed limit.
So, would you mind telling me why the others are shaking in the back?
Oh that. We just got off from Interstate 120.
Its <3
Thanks for nothing.
Because one more would be too farty.
Something about a new tons law
and asks the bartender if they have any grapes. The bartender, puzzled, says no. The duck leaves and returns the following day, waddling into the bar to hop up on a stool and yet again ask the bartender, “do you have any grapes?” Bartender curtly replies, “no.”
The duck returns the following day, struts on in, jumps up on his stool and loudly asks the bartender once more, “do you have any grapes?” The bartender now over their limit says, “no! I don’t have any grapes! And if you ask me that again I’m going to nail your little webbed feet to the floor!” Duck jumps off his stool and leaves.
The following day the bartender is fuming to see this duck come flip flopping through the door yet again, jump up on a stool and stare at them. The duck clears his throat and politely asks, “excuse me sir, but do you have any nails?” The bartender says, “no.”
“Well then” stated the duck, “do you have any grapes?”
Why yes, they’re right around the coroner…
Because I put on the wrong socks this morning…
He was caught Dublin the speed limit!
Yelling as I left, "I'll associate with WHOMEVER I want REGARDLESS of their politics, gender IDENTIFICATION, and/or ROBUSTNESS!"
They're also pun-ishingly bad! You should be pun-alized for it!
Edit: >!I normally don't do this but let me explain the joke/post. Please notice the pun-chline below the title.!<
>!The idea behind this post was to make a pun out of the controversial topic of this sub and nothing else.!<
>!I'm the "devil's advocate" when it comes to both sides. I love both SFW and NSFW dad jokes. Also, there are many prude cultures in the world where parents don't use NSFW jokes with their kids even as an adult so it makes sense why they won't think an NSFW joke is not a dad joke. Reddit is not limited to western culture.!<
Edit 2: A lot of people have been sharing links in this post. Don't click them. They might be scammers.
I knew they'd eventually form a cardtel.
Q: How do you get a farm girl to like you?
A: >!A tractor!<
Q: What’s the difference between Sven (the host) and a savings bond?
A.1: >!One’s appreciated.!<
A.2: >!A savings bond matures.!<
Q: What part of the hospital is off-limits to The Invisible Man?
A: >!The ICU.!<
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."
True story.
He started pointing them out to me.
"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."
++++++++++++++++++
I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.
I like it. I'm proud of myself.
Welcome to M'crib.
It's half empty.
I told him, “They go to the Dunetist.”
His eyes rolled so hard I thought he was a Mentat.
This is because most airline companies have a limit of one carrion per passenger.
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
The ferroust of them all.
Multi-level marketing
Don’t mind him. He is just a product of our times.
Aware wolf.
It was hard to differentiate between them.
Oh, and by the way, those flashing lights on top of your car look really stupid.
Me: "Yeah, but I wasn't going to be out that long."
They put a cap on it.
It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
The oldest computer was owned by adam and eve. It was an Apple with very limited memory. Just 1 Byte and everything crashed !
It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
It was an apple with very limited memory, just one byte and everything crashed.
