I asked the librarian if books about paranoia were available.

She looked up and whispered, "They're right behind you".

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
How do librarians get out of sticky situations?

They pull the library card.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zomida
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t librarians date coworkers?

Any time they try making plans they’re already booked.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zomida
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing ?

Bookworms.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if she knew the author of a dinosaur book.

She said try Sarah Topps.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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I work as a librarian in a prison

The job has its prose and cons.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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Librarians love a good joke...

They always get the reference!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked a librarian if they had any books on 'Different noise levels'.

The librarian said "Sure!! What volume would you like?"

πŸ‘︎ 685
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a librarian use to fish.

Bookworms

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
The one time I took a librarian on a date, she cost me a bloody fortune.

My own fault though, I kept her out too long.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Dragon Librarian?

A Book Wyrm

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BleakDolphin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
A woman walks up to a librarian and asks, "Do you have any books on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat?"

The librarian replies, "It rings a bell, but I don't know if it's here or not."

πŸ‘︎ 258
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIndrajitKar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's dog and SchrΓΆdinger's cat...

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Attinaux
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Professional librarian.
πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashthesharma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a librarians favourite food?

Shhhhhhish kabobs

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vagdryna
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian where the books on engine lubrication were located.

She said they were in the non-friction section.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to make a reservation at the school library. The librarian say I couldn't.

They were completely booked.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kurlythemonkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked a librarian if she had a book about Turtles.

She said hardback? I said yeah with a little head.

πŸ‘︎ 198
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Figure-13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't a librarian go on a weekday lunch date?

They're always booked.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the frog say to the librarian when he returned his books?

Reddit, reddit, reddit

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terri_Fried
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Deaf librarian

I think my librarian is deaf. I asked where the Harry Potter books were, and she told me. But all I see here is books about Bigfoot playing golf.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy goes into a library and asks about books on premature ejaculation. The librarian tells him the book is checked out til next week.

The guy comes in the next day looking for the books again but quickly apologizes. Sorry I came early.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark503
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Our new librarian is very polite and I think she is Italian...

I took a book back that was months overdue, but rather than charging me, she just said, "That's-a-fine."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a job as a Librarian...

but I found the work quiet demanding.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Heard about the Librarian who fell victim to falling bookshelves?

He literally died

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlankenSonja
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
When the librarian bumped her head...

she had no one to blame apart from her shelf

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Kids got this shirt last day of school from librarian
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshypsqueexy
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2017
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if they had any books about romantic proposals.

She said yes.

(oc)

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maraudershake
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a librarian dog?

Hushpuppy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrikamiPanio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the librarian get so strong

They hit the books

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwareSpring708
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if she could show me to the self-help section

She said that would defeat the purpose

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Pinn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
So I asked the librarian where were the books on paranoia?

"Right behind you." She whispered.

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian where the books on paranoia are kept.

She whispered "They're right behind you".

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia.

She said "They're right behind you!"

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainsmoker88
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if books on paranoia were available.

She look up and whispered, β€œThey’re right behind you.”

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateKid84Fan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you..."

πŸ‘︎ 196
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if there were any books about paranoia in the library

She whispered , "They're right behind you..."

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian for a book about Pavlov's dogs and SchrΓΆdinger's cat.

She said it rang a bell but she didn't know if it was there or not.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if they had any books on Noise Reduction Levels

She said "Sure, what volume ?"

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I once took a librarian on a date, she cost me a fortune.

My own fault though, I kept her out too long.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels

She said, β€œTry Sarah Topps”

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat...

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uglyric
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you..."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a librarian chicken say?

Book book book book book.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thelummx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?

Bookworms.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia

She looked up and quietly replied, β€œthey’re right behind you.”

πŸ‘︎ 589
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BumbledTheBees
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Our new librarian is very polite and I think she is Italian...

I've just taken a book back that was months overdue but, rather than charging me, she just said, "That's-a-fine."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
🚨︎ report
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf
πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Teranicia
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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