I asked the librarian if books about paranoia were available.

She looked up and whispered, "They're right behind you".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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The one time I took a librarian on a date, she cost me a bloody fortune.

My own fault though, I kept her out too long.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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I asked the librarian if they had any books on Noise Reduction Levels

She said "Sure, what volume ?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I asked the librarian for a book about Pavlov's dogs and SchrΓΆdinger's cat.

She said it rang a bell but she didn't know if it was there or not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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I asked the librarian where the books on engine lubrication were located.

She said they were in the non-friction section.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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I tried to make a reservation at the school library. The librarian say I couldn't.

They were completely booked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kurlythemonkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels

She said, β€œTry Sarah Topps”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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What did the frog say to the librarian when he returned his books?

Reddit, reddit, reddit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terri_Fried
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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A guy goes into a library and asks about books on premature ejaculation. The librarian tells him the book is checked out til next week.

The guy comes in the next day looking for the books again but quickly apologizes. Sorry I came early.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark503
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Heard about the Librarian who fell victim to falling bookshelves?

He literally died

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlankenSonja
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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When the librarian bumped her head...

she had no one to blame apart from her shelf

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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How did the librarian get so strong

They hit the books

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwareSpring708
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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I asked the librarian if she could show me to the self-help section

She said that would defeat the purpose

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Pinn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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I asked the librarian if they had any books about romantic proposals.

She said yes.

(oc)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maraudershake
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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Did you hear about the guy that robbed the library for every book they had? When questioned on how he did it he told authorities he basically talked the librarian into letting him. So i guess you could say he got a way with words.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ninjahands1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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Why couldn't the librarian attend the party?

He was all booked up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xevetv
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Did you ever hear of the librarian who died under a pile of books?

She had only her shelf to blame.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OVdose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2016
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The Librarians of Alexandria invented the first keyboard but it only had one button on it

Scroll lock

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wawoodworth
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.

She told me to look below C level.

(oc)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maraudershake
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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I asked the librarian if they had any books on tape...

She brought me a book about the 3M company.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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What did the librarian say when they realised all the pages of animal farm were ripped out?

Orwell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BD8D
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2017
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I asked the librarian why the Divine Comedy felt slightly firmer than the other books.

"Why, Sir," she said,"that's because it's all Dante."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHLC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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The local librarian is obviously a dad.

Me: I'd like to check these [books] out.

Librarian: Sorry, that's actually against the rules.

Me: Huh?

Librarian: You see, checking them out only makes them shelf conscious.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2014
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What happened to the librarian who lost his balance on the rolling ladder?

He fell four stories.

Came up with this today at the ball game!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/expertlevel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2016
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Did you hear about the librarian who fainted?

He was out of circulation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lichorat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2012
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God DadJoked by the librarian

Me: Hey, random question - where's the nearest ATM?

Librarian: Random answer - fish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AKPhilly1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
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Did you hear about the librarian?

She took a shelfie.

Did you hear about Santa's helper?

He took an elfie.

My dad was proud of these and repeated them to everyone with ears at least once.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamerpenguin
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2015
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I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia.

She said "They're right behind you!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainsmoker88
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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I asked the librarian if books on paranoia were available.

She look up and whispered, β€œThey’re right behind you.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateKid84Fan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you..."

πŸ‘︎ 193
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I asked the librarian if there were any books about paranoia in the library

She whispered , "They're right behind you..."

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you..."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia

She looked up and quietly replied, β€œthey’re right behind you.”

πŸ‘︎ 589
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BumbledTheBees
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teranicia
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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I walked up to the librarian to see if he knew of any good authors that wrote books on dinosaurs.

He said to try Sarah Topps.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gameronomist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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Ask the Librarian if she knew of any authors that wrote novels about dinosaurs.

She said try Sarah Topps

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brendenmefford
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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I went to the librarian and I asked if they had the book about Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat...

She said it a rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if they had it or not

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benofepmn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2015
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