Lemon puns!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elite__yeet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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My wife asked me to pick up a single lemon at the grocery store

But I have no idea how to tell if a lemon is in a relationship or not

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πŸ‘€︎ u/faceoftheancients
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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John Lemon
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πŸ‘€︎ u/femmika
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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What do you call a French Buddhist who likes lemons?

Le monk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/voicedm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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A boy loves eating his bread with lemon squirted on top

One day, his dad comes across him eating like this and says, "That do be sourdough"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfiniteProximity
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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when life gives you lemons, make puns!
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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I was watching an Australian show and the audience applauded when the host made a lemon meringue.

I was confused because I thought Australians usually boo meringue.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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When life gives you lemons

Sit there and wonder who life is and why they threw a lemon at you

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice

They were really sour about it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angoram
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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What do you call it when someone helps a lemon?

Lemon-aid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scotty_Hassett
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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When life give you lemons...

Find someone whose life gave them vodka, then have a party

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuckleberyfinn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Lemon-ade
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyanCharizard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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What kind of lemon performs charity work?

Lemon aid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrTomatoHead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied

β€œIt’s easy peasy lemon squeegee”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mustacius
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Do you like lemons?

Because I think they are sublime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omegace21_
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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Three fruits decided to have a dragrace match. The Lemon prepared by practcing driving skills, the orange by studying the appropriate tecniques, the grape by relaxing in the sun. Who won?

The grape. He was the only one who went raisin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/midy-dk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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What did the flirty lemon say to the tangerine?

You're so appealing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?

Ya basic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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It’s hard to make lemonade out of lemons when the world is going bananas.

So I made banana bread instead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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What do you have if you 4 apples and 2 oranges in one hand and 3 lemons and a grapefruit in the other hand?

Large hands

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrooksWasHere1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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I crashed my bike into a lemon tree last week

It's left me feeling bitter and twisted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snakesinfur
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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Once there was a man who owned an orchard. He grew lots of things. Apples, pears, cherries, peaches, oranges and lemons.

The stonefruit was almost ready for harvest when he was hit with a bout of laryngitis that left him unable to talk. Despite the doctors orders for bed rest, he went into the orchard early one morning to find all of his mature peach trees had been stolen. He was peachless."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KatWayward
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemonaid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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I tried zesting a lemon for my recipe, but I cut too deep...

Pithy, really.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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I had sex whit a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacChickenNugget
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

When life gives you HIV, you make Live Aid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/666bro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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If lemon juice is lemonade

then cum juice is DECADE

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hmmmmmmble_trauma
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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When life gives terrorists lemons
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?

They both have meringue on them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lizard_Breakfast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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Kids: Hey dad, Don Lemon is interviewing Ice-T on TV!

Dad: Half Lemon, half Ice-T? Why didn't you just save time and say it was Arnold Palmer?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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What’s the opposite of β€˜easy peasy lemon squeezy’?

difficult difficult lemon difficult

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoPhunlntended
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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Lemons
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scott_w04
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?

It’s just plain common scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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It’s a lemon shark
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superkyle14
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.

They call it Boo-Meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadBodDeadpool
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?

Yeah, I guess you’re Sprite

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lazyboyyo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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Why are lemons safer than limes?

There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fenderhobbes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Take It, to the lemon. Take It, to the lemon. Take It, to the lemon..

One more Limeeeeeee

I'm terribly sorry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cracksniffer666
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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A lemon was injured during work

Guess he needs some lemon-aid

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πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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What did the orange say to the lemon?

'yello

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nigger69360420
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought to myself, β€œThe streets seem strangely desserted…”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retgits
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemonaid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemonaid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemonaid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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When life give you lemons..

You give them to someone else and see what they do

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spatula_The_Great
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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