He puts on his Socrates.
They tend to babylon
A duck got a job at a farm, where there was a chicken who ran the place. The chicken was delighted to have the duck join his crew, he personally took the duck around the place and introduced him to all the other farm animals. At the end of the tour the duck asked a question. Duck: Is there anything I should avoid doing here? Chicken: Don't cross the road, you'll never hear the end of it.
Bonus: http://blog.rafihecht.com/files/2013/02/chicken-crossing-road.jpg
Discussing electrical current and he introduced us to Kirchhoff's current law.
"This is Kirchhoff's current law. I don't know what his previous law was, but this is the current one."
The whiteboard is always a mess from the previous class and every week my lecturer has been getting more and more annoyed that the previous guy doesn't clean the board after use.
This morning as he begrudgingly stepped towards the board he sighed and asked the heavens, "when will be the day that I stop having to wipe this board?"
I said to him, "I think the writing's on the wall Professor."
I got one cackled laugh amongst many groans
Talking about particle detectors he asked the audience what gases were used in them. No-one has a clue.
"So... I guess that's hard to gas"
I was the only one laughing.
...he then told us how much he enjoyed having a captive audience.
You'll find that a lot of mathematicians tend to be drummers... because mathematicians really like symbols.
Discussing John Locke
Student: But isn't X the case?
Lecturer: Exactly my point, you're Locked in!
He said, “Sorry. There is no Time.”
The blackboard is now chalk-full of information
Judge: Why did you bring a taser to your lecture?
Defendent: Well you see sir, I have a hard time getting up in the morning. But I’m not a big fan of soft drinks or coffee, so I thought the next best thing was to give me a good shock.
"My dog ate my computer."
It's baffling.
They are all free speech!
https://www.battleforthenet.com/
Stop the FCC from removing net neutrality!
So far, I find it very boring
He kept calling the professor a quack.
We laughed and we laughed then the bell rang and we all went to the cafeteria
I was speechless.
Me: What's today's Criminology class on?
Friend: Cannibals.
Me: (gasps) A Hannibal Lecture!
Because the paracetamol.
-One of my college lecturers, just now
If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times!
"Two Wrights do make an airplane."
"I'm proud of you. You're still grounded though."
A Khan artist.
Oh, varies.
It was a PowerPoint presentation.
As a result, I couldn't see DeForest through the trees
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book is going to lecture me.
I found it hard to achieve class consciousness.
A cannibal lecture.
My professor was talking about Barbara McClintocks work on corn kernel genetics. He stops all the sudden and says "her work really is not all that a-mazeing." He then proceed to look around to see if we laughed, Which almost no one did, cleared his throat and went back to lecturing.
At first I was really concerned, but then I realized it was just dire rhetoric.
I asked her to keep it brief.
It was mental.
>Do you know where the smartest and most reasonable people work? > At the US mint, because all they do is make cents!
I thought it was over and then two minutes further into the lecture.... >Do you know where else really smart and reasonable people work? > At a perfume factory! All they do is make scents!
Now I am just sitting here posting this and trying to think of more puns...
A boar!
We are in medical pharmacology right now and are starting a series of lectures on chemotherapies. My professor begins the lecture by saying "Who's ready to learn about cancer drugs?!"
This guy gets on the mic, and says, "I'm more of a Libra drug kind of guy."
Getting your boron.
He said, “Sorry. No Time.”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book will lecture me.
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book will try to lecture me.
