The laziest statistical distribution
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πŸ‘€︎ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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I keep winning the "Laziest Member" award at my gym.

10 years not running.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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What do the laziest people deserve?

Atrophy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JadedByEntropy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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My ex girlfriend had the laziest cat, she was so lazy I actually at one point thought it was dead.

Turned out it was just catatonic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oppy1984
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Whats the laziest part of the car?

The wheels, because they're tired!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BOOBOO1999
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
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What is the laziest utensil?

A spork. They keep forking a round

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tromax64
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
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Which collegiate insects are the laziest?

Dorm ants

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wingdbullet
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2015
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Three little pigs

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.

The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, β€œI no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”

Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.

Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, β€œLet’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”

Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.

Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.

Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbing every tree within a 300 meter radius of their homestead.

Hambone and Pork Chop were happy. Now all they had to do was to play and sleep the rest of the day.

Now Bacon was a hard worker. He knew that his brothers had used bad materials and shoddy construction methods and he wanted to build the best house he could. He found several tons of bricks stacked in neatly ordered pallets in the forest which he decided to use for his building material. It took him several days, but when he was done Bacon had the best house on the homestead.

The next day a wolf, Scott Howard, happened upon the pig brothers and their new homestead. He spied the straw house and smelled Pork Chop inside and began to think to himself that Pork Chop would make a mighty fine meal, so Scott went and knocked on the door.

Scott said, β€œLittle Pig! Little Pig! Let me in!”

Pork Chop replied, β€œNo way JosΓ©! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”

Scott, undeterred by the reply says, β€œThen I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your crappy straw house to the ground!”

Scott began to huff and puff. He was evidently having some sort of asthma attack, but after a few tugs from his handy dandy rescue inhaler, he was able to muster enough wind to blow Pork Chops straw house to the ground.

Pork Chop narrowly escaped Scott’s massive jaws. Scared, and now homeless, Pork Chop ran for the nearest shelter he could see. Hambone’s house.

Scott, undeterred, chased Pork Chop to his new hiding place. Scott was very pleas

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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