A month before my father died he started rubbing lard onto his body

At which point he started to go downhill pretty fast

👍︎ 71
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone hit my leg with a tub of lard.

Honestly, I'm just glad it wasnt a butternut squash.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
When my grandpa got sick, the doctor told us to smear lard all over his backside every day...

He went downhill really fast after that.

👍︎ 15
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A month before my uncle died, he had his back covered in lard.

After that, he went downhill fast.

👍︎ 57
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
My grandfather got very ill, so we tried rubbing lard on his back

He went downhill very quickly after that.

👍︎ 51
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Did I ever tell you about my great-uncle Albert?

He wasn’t feeling well so he went to his homeopathic doctor... they completely covered his back with lard and after that he went downhill pretty fast.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Can anyone think of any pig related film puns?

So I do a pub quiz every week with the team name 'Kevin Bacon Stars In...' followed by a pig related film pun such as Boarne Identity, Vanilla Sty, Ham of Steel etc.

It's been about a year and a half now and we're starting to run out so any ideas would be great!

Not sure this is the best place to ask for help but couldn't think where else would be better.

👍︎ 15
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 08 2013
🚨︎ report
where do pigs park there cars

a porking lot

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 06 2012
🚨︎ report
Corn bread

I made cornbread tonight and used bacon grease to grease the pan. When I flipped the pan onto a plate and it came out clean, I said "thank you, lard"

👍︎ 16
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 10 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.