Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.

...It was Kief or Southernland.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I posted this on r/memes a while ago and it didn't blow up or somthing. I am just so proud of this it makes me laugh every time
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πŸ‘€︎ u/or2072
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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I once tried to blow up a car

Burnt my lips on the exhaust pipe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenisMcK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Hope this one doesn’t blow up on me.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lococlyde
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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People usually say, β€œlet’s blow this popsicle stand,” when they are at a place where people are cold and have the proverbial, β€œstick up their ass.”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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A power plant blows up near a aquarium...

and I had to be the one to tell my boss about the mutated eels. After I gathered all my courage, I said to him

β€œSir, the eels have fur all over them and are humanoid too!”

My boss looked so surprised, and was silent for a minute or two. Finally, he asked me

β€œFur-eel man?”

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur that blows up?

A TNT-Rex

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeetmyMeat234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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Can you tell me what metal blows up when it reacts with water?

Na

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Albertosaurus77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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It really did blow up
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BABAKAKAN
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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Why can cows blow up randomly?

Because they're usually in stables.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laika_5
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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Why did Marilyn Monroe'd skirt blow up when we met?

Because I'm a huge fan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dagusiu
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Why did the vegetable hospital blow up?

Because someone dropped a sick beet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petsarenice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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Hopefully the comments don't blow up... imgur.com/x9JVVQK
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kasabe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2016
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Have you heard of the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?

He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timotheonb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Why did the President of the U.S. blow hot air up his dog's bum?

Because it's a Trump-pet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plankyy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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I had to blow up my the tyres on my car the other day...

I came home afterwards "Done it?" he said.

Me - "Yeah, bit of a piss take though, cost me 50p just for some air."

"Well, that's inflation for you."

Good one, Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ron_manager
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
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So it's my boys birthday and my wife reminds me to blow up some balloons ..

Minds gets to pondering next minute I say to her "the balloons seem to be wounded... should I helium?" I'm certain the groan could be heard from blocks away!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OscarFish86
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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Those soldiers thought they could blow up that submarine with their bomb...

but they needed to sea mine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saddestclaps
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
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A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.

But a dino might.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kidnorthstar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2017
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This pun is like my vacuum cleaner. It blows a lot of hot air, but ends up sucking.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirate_of_the_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2016
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My uncle laid this one on his son's girlfriend while in a food coma, laying on a blow up mattress in the living room

Uncle: Hey K, did you know I once petitioned to change the name of Uranus?

K (the girlfriend): Oh really, what were you trying to change it to?

Uncle: Urrectum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/funkpunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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