He ask the barman: "What is this?"
The barman answer: "Oh this, place a dollar and if you make my horse laugh you can keep the pot."
"Fair enough" says the man "I'll give it a try" and then places a dollar in the pot
He walks in the stable and after a minute, the horse starts laughing and just can't seem to stop.
The man grabs the pot of change and leaves.
One week later, the man comes back to the bar and can still hear the horse laughing.
A new pot of change has been placed on the counter labeled: "Make my horse cry"
Man says: "Fair enough", place a dollar in the pot and walks again in the stable.
The horse stops laughing and starts crying
The man comes back in the bar and takes the pot of change.
Before he gets a chance to leave, the barman ask him: "How did you make him laugh so much?"
"Oh, very simple" says the man "I told him: My dick is bigger than yours"
"And how did you make him cry?" Ask the barman
"Even more simple, I showed him"
Apparently it was strictly for insurance porpoises.
-
Kroger
-
Wal-Mart
-
Lucky's
-
Whole Foods
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Winn Dixie
etc, etc
When I asked if he counted them all, he said if he added one more it will be “too farty”
One on each of the two positive and two negative ends:
Jed. Jethro. Granny. Ellie Mae.
("the Clamp-its.")
"Looks like the aviation high school didn't really take off"
She may not know anything about it yet, but mark my words--the thyme is cumin.
Granny replied, "Never mind the pills. Have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"
Now police are looking for a man with a price on his head.
If you put a pumpkin on ram A, nothing happens. If you put a pumpkin on ram B you get the same result.
But if you put a pumpkin on Ram C it starts knocking things off counters, making a mess and abusing the kitchen staff.
I guess that is what happens when you put a gourd on ram c in the kitchen.
They haven’t noticed yet... but the thyme is cumin.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
I told him plenty of times to tag a telly but he kept rushing off to the pasta aisle
She hasn’t realized it yet, but the Thyme is Cumin.
Sometimes he would simply rename the brand. Sometimes he would name it a different product entirely. In a few horrific instances he repackaged it as food products. Eventually he was found, arrested, and brought to court. And though he admitted to doing all those things, he insisted that he had done nothing illegal and that moreover, his actions were protected by the law and the Constitution. His reasoning?
"I have the right to rename sealant!!!"
Because no one would bet on a seahorse.
She doesn’t know yet. But the thyme is cumin.
Hopefully they can learn to apply themselves.
Jake returns home after a long days work, finds the cupboards bare and thinks "that's strange we went shopping this week". He goes to the garbage can to find jars of peanut butter, yogurt, pill bottles, assorted food they've just bought discarded. He asks "Honey why is all the food in the garbage?" he finds her watching TV in the living room she says "Roger is dead", stunned he runs to the backyard to find their pet seal dead. He runs inside shocked and says "wow that's terrible, but why did you throw out all the food?!" she replies "They containers all said DO NOT USE IF SEAL IS BROKEN".
Good thing I’m using it in Missouri.
I just bought paper trowels and they're useless.
Then I changed my mind.
I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."
Long story short, I was fired from my job at the pharmacy.
They are the real rag tag team.
Most of what I say to patients is ingest.
He said it was our "Tina Turner."
Keep on turnin', doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...
I never got a straight answer.
Story time:
So over the holiday, while visiting my mom, she asked me to run and pick up some groceries she had on her shopping list. So of course, I pack up my kids and we are off to the store. As I am perusing the juice aisle, my daughter squeals, "ELSA!!!!" Sure enough, there was Elsa, on the label of a bottle of apple juice. I thought, "Apple juice is on the list and it will make my daughter happy? Boom getting it!" Fast forward to putting groceries away at my mom's house.
Mom: "Did you get everything on my list?"
Me: "Yes mom."
Mom: as I am handing her the Elsa apple juice "Oh I wanted you to get the frozen apple juice"
Me: my face shifting from a look of irritation to a stupid-cheesy smirk "That IS Frozen apple juice..."
Mom: fighting the urge to smack me while rolling her eyes "OMG."
I guess you'd call him a post-man now.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
She may not know anything about it yet, but mark my words--the thyme is cumin.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
She hasn't realized it yet, but the thyme is cumin.
She hasn’t realized it yet, but the thyme is cumin...
Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.
Because no one would bet on a seahorse.
