Why did the kernel get fired?
He got caught sleeping on the cob.
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︎ Oct 04 2020
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 20 2020
What do you call a single kernel on a corn cob?
π︎ 59
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︎ Dec 14 2019
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 16 2019
If KFC ran a linux system it would be called "Kernel Sanders"
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︎ Jan 29 2018
It made me pop a kernel
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︎ Feb 25 2019
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 02 2019
Did you hear the one about the introverted corn kernel that went to the party.
When things got heated, they say he really popped when he came out of his shell.
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︎ Jun 06 2018
My mother-in-law was having dinner with us, and began coughing while eating her corn on the cob. She said, "I'm choking on a kernel of corn".
I said "at least it wasn't a General of Corn". No one laughed except me.
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︎ Jun 27 2016
If Colonel Sanders made popcorn, it would be called Colonel's Kernels.
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 12 2014
I recently joined the Popcorn Army.
I've already been promoted to Kernel.
π︎ 335
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︎ Feb 12 2021
Why did the popcorn want to press charges?
Because it was a-salt-ed!
π︎ 20
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Do you want to hear a joke about maize?
No you don't, it's really corny.
π︎ 12
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︎ Oct 17 2020
I once got lost in a corn field
It was an a-maize-ing experience
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Corn is such a good friend to talk to
π︎ 12
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︎ Jun 22 2020
Why do you never pick a fight with popcorn?
They have too many kernels
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 26 2020
Where do all these corny jokes come from?
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︎ Apr 25 2020
A dad joke is a dad joke. Unless it's corny.
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︎ Aug 28 2019
What does KFC use to make their popcorn chicken...?
π︎ 50
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︎ Sep 30 2019
Food suicide
π︎ 15
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︎ Oct 14 2018
Lend me an ear for a corny joke.
It really a'maize'ing, because of how it pops. And at the end a kernel of truth. It's a grain.
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 20 2019
Who's in charge of Kentucky Fried Popcorn?
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 12 2019
What did the baby corn call his dad?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 15 2019
My Yik Yak feed delivers
http://i.imgur.com/LT5FoFE.png
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︎ May 10 2015
Iβm horrified to admit I donβt have any corny jokes today.
If you have one though, Iβm all ears.
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︎ Mar 12 2019
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Sorry guys, a bit corny that one.
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 30 2019
Why can you buy corn at KFC?
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 24 2019
Watching Children of the Corn...
I bet the highest ranking military official is a kernel.
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︎ Sep 23 2019
What do you call corn that joins the army?
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 06 2019
Got the family at dinner: βCorn is great but You know the one problem with corn?β
βItβs corny.β
Everyone: groans and laughter
Wife: βok that one was clever.β
Me: βThere was a kernel of truth to it.β
Wife: broken with laughter.
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︎ Jul 02 2019
Did you hear about the popcorn that got kicked out of the military
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︎ Sep 03 2018
What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?
π︎ 22
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︎ Jul 13 2018
Did you hear about the corn cob that joined the army?
It was promoted to kernel!
π︎ 122
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︎ Aug 27 2017
Since you liked the dino, I'll starch making regular submissions.
π︎ 78
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︎ Nov 30 2013
I know puns are corny...
..but without them, I'm just a husk of a man.
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 16 2017
Who invented popcorn chicken?
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︎ Nov 11 2018
In lecture this morning my professor...
My professor was talking about Barbara McClintocks work on corn kernel genetics. He stops all the sudden and says "her work really is not all that a-mazeing." He then proceed to look around to see if we laughed, Which almost no one did, cleared his throat and went back to lecturing.
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︎ Nov 06 2013
What happens when you stick a needle to a unicorn balloon?
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 22 2017
Made a dad joke on Facebook. My dad friend mercilessly shows me how it's done
My status: Any tips on how to keep raccoons from eating my corn crop? I'm all ears. But seriously raccoons are assholes.
Dad friend responds back to back.
"There's a kernel of truth to that statement!"
"But shucks, poor guys can't help it."
"Maybe get your dog to start stalking them."
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︎ Aug 10 2016
My dad and burnt popcorn
Dad: I smell something burning
Me: Yeah, I made some popcorn and burned a few kernels.
Dad: At least you didn't burn any generals.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 15 2015
My dad was husking corn.
He was surprised at how large the kernels were. "These kernels are large. So large in fact, that they're major."
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 28 2014
Dad joke at the dinner table.
My family was at the table, eating a nice meal. My mom had prepared some corn, and my brother didn't find it to be satisfactory.
"These kernels are too small!" he said.
My dad replied with "Maybe they're just lieutenants."
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︎ Jul 22 2014
I thought of a joke
So a dad and his son are setting the table for thanksgiving and the dad taps his sons shoulder and points to the bowl of corn and says " see all those kernels? Someday they'll all be generals."
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 29 2013
What do you call corn in the military?
π︎ 70
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︎ Aug 31 2019
What does a Unicorn say?
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 11 2018
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