I must admit, I joined this subreddit despite not being a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
Edit: This took off a lot better than I expected.
I feel like a father figure now.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who joined the army?
He wanted a pizza the action
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
When I joined the local Grammar Nazi Party, they gave me their logo to put on my car. It's an upside-down, lower-case "e."
You know, a schwa sticker.
My son joined a group of people that are sexually attracted to young horses.
I'm worried he may be in a colt
My English grammar teacher was having some marriage problems and it was really getting to him, so the whole class joined in to buy him a gift
After we bought him a simple present, he was past tense
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
I have joined just to post this here
My grandparents disowned me after I joined the trades as a brick-layer.
They eventually reconciled after I got a promotion, but still consider me as a meh-son.
I’ve seen many causes come and go in my time, but I never joined any of them.
But when I saw a conga line, I said “Now that’s a movement I can get behind!”
I joined a Christian dating site...
What do you call two edgelords joined at the hip?
I just joined a group of wealthy bell haters
I can’t believe I’m finally part of the nobellity!
I've joined Alcoholics Anonymous.
I now drink under a different name.
It's been 6 months now since I joined the gym and I still haven't lost any weight....
Maybe it's time I went down there to see what's going on
Did you hear about the karate man that joined the army?
When he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
I joined a club for people with Tourettes Syndrome
It took me 4 hours to get sworn in
I joined the army when I was 6
I asked when these twins joined the Siamese club.
They said they had joined together
My dad joined the pacer test at my high school
He ran father than all the other kids
When William joined the army,
He disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
I recently joined a nudist colony
The first week was the hardest
My wife just joined an activist group called DAM
I joined an improv group...
I joined an improv group for skits and giggles.
My Kid: “So my friends and I joined the improv club at school.”
Me: “That sounds cool. Do you guys have a plan or are you just gonna make it up as you go?”
(This was a couple years ago and I still look back on it as my peak dad joke)
Yesterday, I joined Philosophy club at my school
I walked in, asked the teacher if the club even existed, then left.
OJ Simpson joined Twitter...
...I think to promote a brand of orange juice.
Did you hear about that Japanese foodie who got became transgender and now goes by Edward, but then got pregnant and had a baby and joined the baby bloggers?
His blog is called Ed - A Mommy.
BREAKING NEWS: Apple and Kia Motors have joined forces to produce a kit set electric car in sweden...
... they are calling it the iKia
I joined a club of procrastinators but we don’t have a name.
We’re gonna come up with it later.
I joined a needlework club.
one bar owner was yelling at a recently joined bartender for coming up with new drinks and calling them weird names ...
for instance , he shakes pear
If a bellybutton joined the military, what would he apply for?
He would apply to be a Naval Officer
Edit: Words
When I joined school, I was given an ebook reader instead of books.
Why was the willow upset that its child joined the army?
Because it was the infant tree.
My dad got me when I told him I joined the fishing club
Me: "Hey dad I joined the angling club at school."
Dad: "Fishing?
Or Geometry?"
I recently joined a climbing gym. I've hit rock bottom, but I can only go up from here.
Did you hear about the corn cob that joined the army?
It was promoted to kernel!
I joined a musical and it's been pretty difficult
It's doing quite a number on me
I joined a cult that doesn't let us have high self esteem
I can't believe how good I feel
If the world's human population joined hands around the equator...
A significant portion of them would drown...
If I joined the Cuban space agency...
I joined the figure skating team to pick up girls...
I recently joined the track team...
we spent the car ride home talking about the famous world runners and their impressive times and such. When we got home my dad said:
Dad: "You know I'm actually a record holder myself"
Me: "Wait really? In what event?"
Dad runs downstairs and comes back up with the biggest grin on his face, and holding a box of vinyl records
When I was young I joined the Civil Air Patrol CAP for short
My grandfather called it the Called it the Civil Regional Air Patrol.
I joined a two-man mountaineering team and my wife wasn't happy.
She said she was leaving me after seeing other people behind my back.
And with this gem I joined your ranks.
My 4 year old daughter walked up to me and said "I'm thirsty". Without a second thought I replied "Hi Thirsty, I'm daddy".
During her college years, why did Barbie call the technicians when her boyfriend joined a fraternity?
Recently joined the dad ranks and made a name for myself.
Distant uncle: "It has been a long time, you must have grown a foot since I saw you last"
Me: No, I still only have two.
I joined the Bladder Foundation and asked whether they needed anything else.
Did you hear about the karate master who joined the army?
They killed themselves with their first salute.
I recently joined a nudist colony.
The first few days were the hardest...
So I recently joined a nudist colony.
The first few days were the hardest.
I recently joined a nudist colony.
The first few days were the hardest.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
