Don't interrupt someone working intently on a word puzzle

Chances are, you'll hear some cross words

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
An intents one
πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/meow__meg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend today is intentionally staring at the sun to cause eye damage.

Look on the bright side, today will be the last time he sees 2020....

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RasberryOnline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't stand this dude!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AristonD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a schizophrenic's favorite Christmas song?

Do You Hear What I Hear?

πŸ‘︎ 913
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TaurusGuy813
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Martha had always listened to her parents when they said β€˜stay away from fire’, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.

Martha was burning with curiosity

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/husbus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother, the pro baseball pitcher, told me about the time he intentionally walked every player on the opposing team as a protest against unfairness in life...

That took a lot of balls.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Was this intentional?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jilaXSXL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I can almost guarantee it was intentional.
πŸ‘︎ 339
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hados1109
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Intentional or not, I suggest it belongs here.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
In a new movie 007 must save us from a mad man intent on setting off an atomic bomb on the bottom of the Ocean

Nucleotide Bond

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tjmaxal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was talking to my friend and he asked me, β€œAs a young boy was your mom strict with you?” I told him, β€œTo be honest,...

β€œ...my mother was never a young boy.”

πŸ‘︎ 217
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Camping can be pretty intents
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yourfather223
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t think it was intentional
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wellimfuked
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Hope it was intentional...
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dg1056
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Ever had sex while camping?

It's Fucking intents

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/felinebarbecue
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mt. Everest expedition that got snowed in?

They said their nights were intents....

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/manthe43
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
i have a pee every morning at 7

problem is i don't wake up until 7:15

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrEpididymis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Had my first camping experience last week

It was pretty intents

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When I told my friend about my intention to stop drinking, he said β€œthat’s the spirit!”
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the circus fire?

It was intents

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The French translation of this brand is an intentional English pun
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Satanaphobia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I witnesseded a very odd behaviour of a shark, it just swam beside other fish without any intention to harm it

I think it followed ocean's ethical cod.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Oded_Gendelman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Physical dad jokes
  • Pretending to pick fleas out of my kids hair and then eating them.
  • Waving back at people who clearly aren't waving at me.
  • Intentionally missing a high five.
  • Pressing the car horn when I'm in the passenger seat and the teenager is driving slowly past other people.
  • Answering "Yes dear" in a falsetto voice when one of the kids yells for mum.

What else have you got?

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL: A thousand years ago, the boomerang was Australia’s chief export.

And import.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My pregnant wife was intentionally irritating me while I was taking a shower...

I said, "Can I please just shower in peace?"

She replied, "I have a bag in the freezer if you want some."

I stonefaced her but it brought a tear to me eye, she's gonna be such a good dad. ^(Explanation ^since ^I ^know ^someone ^will ^ask: ^peace ^sounds ^like ^peas)

πŸ‘︎ 184
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WrexKwonDo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2017
🚨︎ report
/r/BlackFathers will now be a positive and supportive community for Black and POC fathers

https://i.imgur.com/GlXV2kE.gifv

Reddit admins have recently granted ownership of /r/BlackFathers to myself and a group of other Black/POC mods, and it is our intention to make this a positive and supportive community. This is a place where Black/POC fathers and their family, friends, and colleagues can find helpful resources, welcoming content, and a safe space to learn from each other and share our experience.

Content of all types are welcome so long as the subject/focus of the content is supportive of Black/POC fathers. We look forward to seeing you there.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigJ76
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
This is intense.
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adrianorivera
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I just did a somersault.

It wasn't intentional, but I rolled with it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LastedApple3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
One day, Kermit the Frog was a little short on cash, so he went to the bank to speak to a loan officer...

When he got there, a woman extended her hand.

"Good afternoon, sir," she said. "My name is Patricia Wack. How may I help you today?"

Kermit replied, "Hi-ho, Patricia! I'm Kermit the Frog, and I would like to borrow some money."

They walked over to her desk and sat down.

"Certainly, Mr. Frog--"

"Oh, just call me Kermit."

"Okay... Kermit. How much money would you like to borrow?"

"Ten thousand dollars."

Mildly surprised, Ms. Wack looked intently at Kermit.

"Do you have any references?"

"Well, I suppose I could use my father, Keith Richards."

Ms. Wack froze for a second, then...

"THE Keith Richards?"

"Oh, yes. In fact, he told me he's friends with your manager, which is why I came in here."

"Okay... Do you have any collateral?"

"Excuse me?"

"Collateral. Something of value, like a car, or a boat..."

"Oh, yes! I do have something. I have this."

Kermit reached into his briefcase and placed a small figurine on the desk. Patricia looked curiously at the object, then at our amphibious friend.

"What's this?"

"It's a Hummel."

"A what?"

"A Hummel. They're supposed to be quite valuable. Well, at least this one is to me."

She picked up the Hummel and stood up.

"If you don't mind, I would like to show this to the manager."

"Oh, no! I don't mind at all!"

So, Patricia took the Hummel to the manager's office, knocked on the door, and walked inside.

"Patricia! What can I do for you?"

"Mr. Wilson, there's this... frog named Kermit at my desk, and he wants to borrow $10,000, but he has only this for collateral."

Mr. Wilson looked at the Hummel, then out to her desk.

"I don't see anything out of order here."

"But, Mr. Wilson--"

"Look, it's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I see what you did there, fb algorithm.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cdr_breetai
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.

The N’s justify the means.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Mitochondria would be a great prison nickname.

They'd be the powerhouse of the cell.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lazztronica
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I took a pole today and found out that 100% of people get upset when a tent falls on top of them.
πŸ‘︎ 186
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CHEEZY_21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Front page of today's Toronto Star. Not sure if intentional...
πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hightechlowlife
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2013
🚨︎ report
Why does it feel so good to screw on a camping trip?

Cuz It's fucking intents

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rare_Breed721
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I stubbed my toe and got scolded by my parents for yelling β€œWhat the duck”

They were angry that I used fowl language

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/inceptionisim
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Wanna see something cool? gfycat.com/eachpeskyaardv…
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drymud64
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A struggling young news reporter was having trouble getting good sound bites from the politicians she was sent out to interview, so she invited an experienced colleague out to dinner to ask for advice.

The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.

Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a €5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.

As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."

As the gobsmacked gal with mouth agape slowly raised her eyes to her grinning dinner guest's face, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "squid pro quote".

Required Explanation: "squid pro quote" is a play on words for the saying "quid pro quo", a Latin phrase meaning "something for something". In the news at the time of this posting a tremendous amount of discussion is being circulated about whether or not US president Trump dangled a quid pro quo offer in front of Ukraine's newly elected president, Volodymyr Zelensky. The deal had nothing to do with seafood however, so that was just a red herring. It should also be noted that Mr. Zelensky, before diving into politics, was a stand-up comedian.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/podgress
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
uh oh
πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iPhoenixPK
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
This wasn't even intentional

Me and my friends are sitting around the TV and listening listening to you get what you give by the Maine.

My one friend points to me and my other buddy, jim, and asks "didn't U2 do a cover of this?"

To which I reply "no I've never sang with Jim"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2016
🚨︎ report
Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle.

Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle.

You may hear some crosswords.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Camping is intents
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
did you know that camping is intents
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gl1tchhh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.