A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
π︎ 46
π
︎ Mar 13 2020
Countertop installers always taking
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 23 2019
In my life I've been a maintenance mechanic, a make-up artist, a media director, a mender, a metre inspector, a microcomputer support specialist, a mill helper, a mirror installer, a music librarian and a mortician investigator.
That's my Mployment record.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 17 2019
Where do HVAC installers store their money?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 15 2019
My son asked me if the guy that put the blinds up at my office was a blind installer
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 07 2018
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 29 2017
What is the difference between an art installation and performance art?
Crap on your neighbors doorstep then ring the doorbell - that's an art installation.
Ring the doorbell THEN crap on his doorstep - that's performance art.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
I asked my grandfather how he was enjoying the new stairlift that was installed in his house.
He said, βItβs driving me up the wall.β
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
My job installed this new faucet. Im really faucinated by it
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
I installed a new range hood for an oven
Wife: You need to knock out the vent hole.
Me: I think due to the pandemic, we should wait.
Wife: Why?
Me: The country is low on vent hole laters.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
A man installed on his car new brakes, bearings, crankshaft, tires and exhaust.
He took a break, he couldn't bear it.. he was cranky, tired and exhausted.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
I have fantasised about installing irrigation my whole life
But it's just a pipe dream
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
After the contractor did a poor job installing the moving stairs in our office building my boss threw him down the steps.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
Chalk boards are no longer being used in schools, so when the last school finally took them down to install smart boards, the teachers gathered all the writing utensils from them and had a large bon fire just outside the school. It smelled so good.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet
Iβve been having a blast
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 29 2020
The engineer installed a motor too powerfull in the moving stairway
It escalated very quickly.
π︎ 61
π
︎ May 11 2020
A German friend of mine actually installed a bath around his desk !?..
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 07 2020
guess what my dad wonβt let me put on my car?
dammit, Iβm not even allowed to mark this post as a spoiler
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Today I got a job installing lightbulbs
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 19 2020
I just installed a screw in my computer.
But I canβt find the driver for it.
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 16 2020
I'm thinking of quitting my job installing windows.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
Can we uninstall 2020 and re-install it?
π︎ 44
π
︎ Mar 25 2020
Can we uninstall 2020 and install it again?
This version has a virus.
π︎ 70
π
︎ Mar 29 2020
What do you call a black lady that installs and changes catheters?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
I was arrested for using cash that my friend gave me after I installed a new table top in his kitchen.
He gave me counter fit money.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 27 2020
You can order bathroom fixtures online and have someone at you door in a couple days ready to install it,
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 25 2020
My buddy just installed a new counter top
I just hope he doesnβt take it for granite
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
My kid wanted to play 2d life.
So I installed 4 installs of half-life.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
I finally got work installing wooden window blinds...
I SHUTTER when I think where Iβd be without this job.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 19 2020
Apple would never make a house
Because they would have to install Windows on it
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."
(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
I'm getting fibre installed on Saturday.
It'll be nice to finally have regular internet.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Iβve just installed high voltage electrical fencing .....
My neighbour is dead against it.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 18 2020
My job installing air ducts is very frustrating...
thank goodness I get to VENT a lot.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 16 2020
I used to install windows.
It was a real pane.
(Credit to my partner Michael for all of my r/dadjokes entries).
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jan 01 2020
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed.
Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ May 06 2018
My dog initially barked when the people installing my shingles started then barked again as they finished...
Re-roofing complete.
*Edit: reworded punchline. I think it might be better said "replacing my shingles" but I cannot for the life of me edit that part...
*ahem* without hacking.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 22 2020
Why did Anna and Elsa install air dryers in all of the castle bathrooms?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 11 2020
Who's the best at installing covers for the instrument panels in automobiles
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
Just installed a new hydration system
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 02 2020
If I ever own a business, I'm going to install a revolving door that looks like a glass container...
...that way, the door is always ajar.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 24 2020
I've installed a Photoshop software.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
I installed the granite in the kitchen all by myself.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 10 2020
I asked my grandfather how heβs enjoying the new stair lift that was recently installed in his house.
He said, βI hate it. Itβs driving me up the wall.β
π︎ 70
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
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