Dad: "You can do so much better, you know!!"
Me: "Thanks dad. That means so much to me."
Dad: "I was talking to her."
Guess they're blaming it on the boogie.
I grew up and stopped going to church
I have to remind him what Israel.
"There is nothing wrong with a good healthy imagination to help a child to develop and this is very common and nothing to worry about at all." said the psychiatrist.
I grimaced, "We haven't got a son."
The Hurt of two feetie.
They both come in twos
The sass-quatch
I think it’s best if I don’t see her anymore.
Well the jokes on them – they’re imaginary too.
"It's the numbers you use to call your imaginary girlfriend."
I had to tell him that Israel.
Make believe
A pigment of your imagination...
They're out of sight
At least I am not complex to understand
She was made up
He came from my imaginasian
They're pigments of your imagination.
Sorry, was this joke too off-color?
Backstory: I play in a small band that does a "tour" of southern Wisconsin every year. The bands name is the Petty Thieves. This is my first year with them, but every year they come up with a tour name and make nice t-shirts and material with the tour name on them. Last two tour names were "Sticky Fingers" and "Busted!" We are looking for something related to the band name. Something clever and crime related. If it has mild sexual innuendo, all the better, but not overtly obscene. Some tour names we came up with are: Five Finger Discount, Backdoor Tour, Snatching Kisses, Kissing Snatches, Robbing the Cradle, Something something Miss Demeanors, Spread 'em, Felonious Funk, Unlawful Entry, Rhymes against Humanity, etc...
If you have anything punny, please throw it out there. Top 3 upvoted names get reddit gold. If we use your tour name, I'l send you the tshirt. Thanks kind sirs!
I was complaining about having to buy several permits today and told my girlfriend i was moving to Alaska to get away from "the man". She asked if my new Inuit wife would let her visit, I came up with:
-
she can hold it while i put inuit
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we could work out a deal where we get to pay each other a visit on a regular basis like when you win the lottery and get an innuity
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you 2 could share lingerie if you think you could fit inuit
I would call it Calvin and Hobbles
His dad says,” you know..you could do better, right?”
“Thanks dad. That means a lot.”
“I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to your girlfriend.”
Make believe
He said, "You know you could do better."
"Thanks dad, that means a lot," I replied.
"I was talking to your girlfriend!"
She was made up.
