Illumination during chemistry class
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonNeon9451
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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I jokingly told my X-ray technician that I didn't believe in X-rays...

but she saw right through me.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdofras
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Design
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dansydemansy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Some fights are illuminating
πŸ‘︎ 252
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confluencer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2015
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What's the opposite of the illuminate?

Ultra Nate, cause you're free to do what you want to do!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naiphe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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I'm glad my friend enlightened me on this deal
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bflowwolf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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What did the student say after visiting the Thomas Edison Museum?

I enjoyed being enlightened

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billgluckman7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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What happened to the scientist when he broke the speed of light?

He was sent to prism.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ima420r
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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What do you call a flower that glows in the dark?

A light bulb

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talazare
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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I didn't think my friend's MacGyver-ed flashlight contraption would work until he provided a detailed description.

It was very illuminating.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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I started a charity to ensure everyone has proper lighting in their homes

I've always wanted to be a PhiLAMPthropist

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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I spent most of yesterday evening watching Cricket highlights

My eyes are a bit sore now but I’ve always been fascinated by pitch illuminations

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbiggs92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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I guess the trip to the bulb emporium was....

... Illuminating

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
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my daughter studies painting and photography.

I confirm she is illumine arty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rethinkr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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This guy’s walking home from work, really late, in the pitch black of night...

There isn’t another soul on the street.

Suddenly, from out of the gloom, comes an ominous bump...bump…bump.

He looks behind him and spots a furtive, shadowy thing coming down the street after him.

Unnerved, he picks up his pace, finally breaking into a panicked run.

He looks behind him again, and the shadow is closer.

Bump…bump…bump.

The glow of a streetlight illuminates the shadow momentarily, and, to the man’s horror, it is a coffin, bumping down the sidewalk.

He quickens his pace, running as fast as he can go, but the coffin only pursues more quickly.

BUMP…BUMP…BUMP!

He reaches his house, fumbles frantically for his keys, and slips in the door just as the coffin reaches his front steps.

He slams the door and leans against it, catching his breath.

Bump…bump…bump.

There is a moment’s silence, and the man wonders if he dares to breathe.

Suddenly…. Bump…bump…bump…Bump…

BUMP! BUMP!

BUMPBUMPBUMPCRAAAAASH!!!!

He rebounds away as the door breaks off its hinges.

Scrambling to his feet, he charges up the stairs, and the coffin races after.

BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP!

Terrified, he backs into a corner and starts throwing everything within reach at the coffin β€” a handful of papers, a vase, a box of crackers, a lamp β€” but the coffin keeps coming!

BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP INCHESFROMHISFACE, and nothing seems to slow it down!

His hands fall upon a bottle of cough syrup, and he throws that at the coffin, too!

The coffin stops.

πŸ‘︎ 207
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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