Felt the knead to drop a hot pun on my wife
How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
A coworker of mine spilled boiling hot coffee on my leg and had the nerve to ask where it hurts
What do you get, when you pour down hot water into a rabbit hole?
My little brother just came up with this: Why was the fully loaded hot dog cold?
Because it was a chili dog.
I invited my hot date to the gym for a training session, but she didn't show up.
That's when I knew that we weren't going to work out.
Why did the stadium get hot?
That girl with only fans used to be really hot
Until she got an air conditioner.
I gave my brother a hot dog for Christmas.
...I always knew that he would relish his gift.
Re-watching Hot Shots 2, just noticed this jem
My wife loves it when I blow cold air on her when she's too hot..
Personally I'm not a fan.
There were two muffins in an oven, and one says to the other “is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?” Then the second one says-
“AAAH! TALKING MUFFIN!!!”
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
My doctor says I should start eating hot peppers to boost my immune system.
He said they're full of Vitamin Spi-C!
What kind of man is hot and spicy and won't dissapoint you?
What did the pig say on a hot summer day?
My friend and I were having a conversation on a hot summer day but when the A/C broke…
our conversation turned into a heated conversation
The hot dog vendor is subpar
Was flattered by a bench at a hot dog restaurant.
why are educated people so hot?
I dropped a hot fudge sundae on my foot
It is so hot in my city that I decided to meet my ex
She gave me a cold shoulder.
How does a military dad alert his son that a hot lady is nearby?
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. First one says "boy it sure is hot in here."
The other yells, "Oh my god! It's a talking muffin!"
I was lecturing on the criminal law concept of hot pursuit, and I asked there were any questions.
A student asked "what if you're ugly?'
As an old dad, I was befuddled for a moment before asking "did you just tell a dad joke?" She grinned, and I commissioned her as a dad on the spot.
I identify as a man, my birth certificate says I’m a man, everybody I know says I’m a man...
and yet according to Kraft Dinner, I’m a 4-person family
My buddy keeps asking me to blow cool air on him when he gets hot, and I don’t like it.
2 muffins baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says "Gosh, it's hot in here". The other replies;
"AAAAHH! TALKING MUFFIN!"
At Disney World on a hot day, saw someone with one of those portable misting bottles attached to a fan for cooling off. I said, "I want a mister fan."
My wife, without missing a beat, says "Please, Mr. Fan is my father."
Why is 'Careless Whisper' played in so many hot scenes?
It is a rather saxy song.
A sausage says to the egg "You know, after they burn us up on that hot pan, they'll stab us with forks and cut us with their sharp knives...
The egg says to the sausage "wow, amazing - a talking sausage!"
What do you call it when a girl's butt looks hot but is really cold to the touch?
My girlfriend and I were just touring the farmer’s market - she said one of the tables had some red hot chilli peppers, and asked if I wanted some.
I said, only if they’re givin’ ‘em away, givin’ ‘em away, givin’ ‘em away now.
Technically Moses was the first man to download files from the Cloud...
Professor X: What's your superpower?
Me: Hindsight
Professor X: Well that won't be much help to us...
Me: Yes I see that now.
My doctor told me to drink two bottles of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can’t even finish drinking the hot bath
What do you call a line of well dressed, sizzling hot babes?
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Which one runs faster? Hot or Cold?
Hot, because anyone can catch a cold.
How can you tell how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
My wife loves it that I blow cold air on her when she's too hot...
Personally, I'm not a fan.
Educated people are hot.
Because they have more degrees.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
What’s faster—hot or cold?
Hot is, because you can catch a cold.
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