Red hot pun over here
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Felt the knead to drop a hot pun on my wife
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Greigers
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkeye45_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
🚨︎ report
A coworker of mine spilled boiling hot coffee on my leg and had the nerve to ask where it hurts

I said decaf.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uhhokanything
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get, when you pour down hot water into a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sikitomi
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My little brother just came up with this: Why was the fully loaded hot dog cold?

Because it was a chili dog.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joncottrell
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I invited my hot date to the gym for a training session, but she didn't show up.

That's when I knew that we weren't going to work out.

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexJamesCook
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the stadium get hot?

...all the fans left

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/burgundyhotel
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
That girl with only fans used to be really hot

Until she got an air conditioner.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DesertWolf45
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I gave my brother a hot dog for Christmas.

...I always knew that he would relish his gift.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymouspapayaz
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Re-watching Hot Shots 2, just noticed this jem
πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/minghj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife loves it when I blow cold air on her when she's too hot..

Personally I'm not a fan.

πŸ‘︎ 133
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
There were two muffins in an oven, and one says to the other β€œis it just me, or is it getting hot in here?” Then the second one says-

β€œAAAH! TALKING MUFFIN!!!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PurrfectlyFunny
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LayThatPipe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My doctor says I should start eating hot peppers to boost my immune system.

He said they're full of Vitamin Spi-C!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of man is hot and spicy and won't dissapoint you?

Ramen.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crxcked_
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the pig say on a hot summer day?

I’m bacon out here!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/westsoutheast
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend and I were having a conversation on a hot summer day but when the A/C broke…

our conversation turned into a heated conversation

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tf1-f1
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
The hot dog vendor is subpar

He doesn’t pass mustard.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Lazy hot dog vendors

don’t pass mustard.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Was flattered by a bench at a hot dog restaurant.
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxxkiddo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
why are educated people so hot?

theyβ€˜ve got more degrees

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenman2359
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I dropped a hot fudge sundae on my foot

I scream

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
It is so hot in my city that I decided to meet my ex

She gave me a cold shoulder.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kingof-potatos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
How does a military dad alert his son that a hot lady is nearby?

A-TEN-SON!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Packaging69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. First one says "boy it sure is hot in here."

The other yells, "Oh my god! It's a talking muffin!"

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrPackinwud
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I was lecturing on the criminal law concept of hot pursuit, and I asked there were any questions.

A student asked "what if you're ugly?'

As an old dad, I was befuddled for a moment before asking "did you just tell a dad joke?" She grinned, and I commissioned her as a dad on the spot.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/M4sterofD1saster
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I identify as a man, my birth certificate says I’m a man, everybody I know says I’m a man...

and yet according to Kraft Dinner, I’m a 4-person family

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
My buddy keeps asking me to blow cool air on him when he gets hot, and I don’t like it.

I’m not a fan.

πŸ‘︎ 155
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/backalleywillie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
2 muffins baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says "Gosh, it's hot in here". The other replies;

"AAAAHH! TALKING MUFFIN!"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jdbsplashum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
At Disney World on a hot day, saw someone with one of those portable misting bottles attached to a fan for cooling off. I said, "I want a mister fan."

My wife, without missing a beat, says "Please, Mr. Fan is my father."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rolls20s
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is 'Careless Whisper' played in so many hot scenes?

It is a rather saxy song.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darthcactus2100
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
A sausage says to the egg "You know, after they burn us up on that hot pan, they'll stab us with forks and cut us with their sharp knives...

The egg says to the sausage "wow, amazing - a talking sausage!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReceptionSweet383
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a girl's butt looks hot but is really cold to the touch?

A tsunderriere.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/primo_not_stinko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I were just touring the farmer’s market - she said one of the tables had some red hot chilli peppers, and asked if I wanted some.

I said, only if they’re givin’ β€˜em away, givin’ β€˜em away, givin’ β€˜em away now.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ARCdotcom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Technically Moses was the first man to download files from the Cloud...

....using a tablet.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Professor X: What's your superpower?

Me: Hindsight

Professor X: Well that won't be much help to us...

Me: Yes I see that now.

πŸ‘︎ 487
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My doctor told me to drink two bottles of red wine after a hot bath...

But I can’t even finish drinking the hot bath

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The-MEGA-O
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a line of well dressed, sizzling hot babes?

Barbie queue.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xxBurntToastxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunny_McShoot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Which one runs faster? Hot or Cold?

Hot, because anyone can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxiCato62
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
How can you tell how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TKCZBW_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife loves it that I blow cold air on her when she's too hot...

Personally, I'm not a fan.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Educated people are hot.

Because they have more degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RushilPc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s fasterβ€”hot or cold?

Hot is, because you can catch a cold.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.