I Was in the TV Soundtrack Section at a Record Store With My Son & He Asked What My Favorite Album Was...

...I said: "It's a toss up between Bundy and Borland... butt honorable mention goes to Swearengen".

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👤︎ u/dustimo
📅︎ May 10 2017
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In it for the long con

When I was in 2nd or third grade and my sister was in kindergarten, we asked my dad why he didn't work anymore, he had retired earlier that year. He convinced us he had invented the question mark and every time someone read one, he got ten cents. It was funny, until my sister's teacher mentioned she was honored to meet such an important inventor at the parent teach conference. Then it was hilarious.

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👤︎ u/wiggitywat
📅︎ Oct 19 2013
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My Dad Made Me Steak

Today was my last dinner before heading off to college, and my dad cooked our family steaks in honor of us leaving. I mentioned that one of our steaks was over cooked. My dad then says "you know what you call that?"

"What do you call it?" My family responded.

"A Mis-steak."

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📅︎ Aug 22 2014
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