It's 5AM and I'm still doing my dyslexia homework
I haven't spelt all night.
Did you hear about the students complaining of aches and fatigue when they did math homework?
They're calling it fibromyalgebra.
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because, the teacher told him, it was a piece of cake.
"Dad, I need help with my grammar homework. Can you name two pronouns?"
I told my teacher that my dog ate my online homework...
... He took a couple bytes of it
When I was helping my son with his math homework,
I found an angle of 0.35°, and I found that odd.
If I was a smart but unscrupulous high school student, I would start a business doing other kids' homework for a nominal fee.
The name of the business?
"Nerdy deeds, done dirt cheap"
Why did the student take her math homework to gym class?
She wanted to work out her problems
"Dad, can you do my math homework for me?" I chuckled, "No son, it wouldn't be right." He sighed...
"Well, at least you could try."
My 9-month-old ate part of her sister's math homework.
Now we're waiting to see if she passes algebra.
Teacher: "You know, you really should have done your homework. It was in your best interest."
Kid: "Yeah, my dog ate it. How'd you know dogs were my best interest?"
What do you call it when there is nothing on your math homework?
My son was recording some audio for homework
Him: "Reasons that doing research underwater can be difficult include..."
Me (from my office): "the paper will get too wet!"
Him: "UGH!" stops and restarts recording
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo
Whenever my son has to make a picture for homework, I always make sure he signs his name last
Because Andrew is a lot shorter than Andrawing
I think sex education is a great idea in schools.
I just don't think the kids should be given homework.
Struggle with your Children's Math homework ?
... Apparently it's quite common in five out of every four homes.
What does Adam Lambert say when you tell him you did your math homework in the snow?
"Don't give a damn about your cold calculation."
I promised my classmate I’d stay totally still whilst he did his maths homework against my back.
“Good” he said, “because I’m counting on you”.
Wife: I’m not in the mood to do my homework. Me: Just phone it in and do C-work. Wife: I don’t know how to do C-Work.
Me: step 1, buy a boat.
Just happened. Not an official dad yet but she’s 6 months pregnant. Got to get the practice in while I can.
"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
Make two rectangles out of a diamond using one line
This was a problem on my step sons homework. No matter what, he couldn't seem to grasp it. So, I grabbed some post-it notes, turned it to a diamond and said "this is a diamond correct?" he says yes. I then turn the post-it notes a few degrees and say "this is a square correct?" And he instantly got what he had to do. I then threw out this, grade "A" knee slapper of a line "Diamonds are just crooked squares, you can't trust'em".
I think I'm gonna put on my jorts and tube socks now.
Don't you hate it when a teacher lies and says the homework will be a piece of cake?
It always tastes like paper.
My son needed help with his writing homework. 'Is it further or farther?' he asked me.
It's me, father, I replied.
Why did the school children eat their homework?
Cuz the teacher told them it was a piece of cake day.
My mom was telling me to do my homework
But since we’re all in quarantine all work is homework
I hadn’t done my homework but the teacher didn’t show because she had CVA...
It was a stroke of good luck
All these protests....
I get being anti-homework but how can you be pro-tests?
Doing math homework, huh? I don't understand why you use fractions instead of decimals.
My son was doing his homework, when he asked me, “Dad, what's the chemical formula for water?”
I said, “HIJKLMNO.”
He asked, “What're you talking about?!”
I responded, “Well, it’s H to O!”
My son needed help with his homework:
He asked "Do you know anything about Pavlov's dog or Schrodinger's cat?"
It rang a bell, but I don't know if I knew anything or not.
My child was setting up a science homework project on the dinner table. I swiped the table clean and threw the table outside. He asked "what was that for?"
I said, it's a periodic table. You cant use it right now.
My teenager was doing her homework, and suddenly her pen ran out of ink.
She said, “I can’t even write now.”
I did my math homework in the elevator
It was wrong on so many levels
When I am doing my math homework, I always ask my x y I'm doing this
Why did the kids eat their homework?
Their teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it’s a piece of cake!
Why did the kids eat their homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Kids ate the homework
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake
I said to my computer science professor that my dog ate my homework.
When he doubted me, I said, "Well, it took him a couple of bytes."
"Dad, can you do my math homework for me?"
"No son, it wouldn't be right."
"Well, at least you could try."
My dog ate my computer science homework
It took him a couple of bytes
Why did the school kid eat his homework?
Because his teacher told him it's a piece of cake.
Why did the students eat the math homework?
Because the math teacher said it was a piece of PI!
"Dad, can you do my math homework for me?" "No son, it wouldn't be right."
"Well, at least you could try."
Why did the school student eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake
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