My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
What do you call a dinosaur who is easy to clean, heat resistant and long lasting?
py-rex
I'll get my coat...
After a heated argument, my kid shouted “Jim Morrison was overrated”
Me: What did I say about slamming The Doors?
My wife heated up a cup of coffee "just for me"
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Keep in mind that given all of this year's events, Thanksgiving dinner can get heated
It can get re-heated the next day as well
Why, when I heat some water, I am boiling it. But when my wife heats some water...
Literally took the heat off!
I was dancing with a woman in a bar and things were getting heated.
"Want to go back to my place?" I asked.
"Of course," she replied.
I said, "Here are the keys. Make sure you let the dog out for a shit."
I cannot eat shrimp, lobsters and clams that have been cooked by heated water vapor....
I have shellfish steamed issues.
My dad told me this rn. "Which is faster, heat or cold?"
Heat because you can catch a cold.
My wife finally bought a ventilator yesterday because of the heat..
I was heating up chip dip when I spilled some on my feet.
I guess you could say i had toasty-toes.
Oven mitts make hands immune to heat.
At least to a certain degree.
(first post here. thought of this while making a hot pocket)
I have a farmer friend who heats his milk products to 212 degrees Fahrenheit using cow chips...
Yep. It's called pasture-ized milk.
During the heat of the summer, my wife asked if I wanted the fan to oscillate.
I said I like it both ways, but it is variable.
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...
Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.
I’m not sure why my heating bill is so high?
If you’d like to come over to offer me any advice my door is always open
he broke their air conditioner and then things got heated.
If something were heat resistant...
Would you say it's heat proof, to a certain degree?
Today I found out that roofing in the summer heat can be really dangerous.
WARNING: HOT SHINGLES ARE IN YOUR AREA.
I got into an argument with a friend about what the best medieval weapon was. I said the Warhammer, he said the Mace. It got so heated we are currently not speaking to each other...
Talk about blunt force drama.
Grrrrr... I've just burnt my Hawaiin pizza....
Should have cooked it on aloha heat.
I was using my drill at work when all of a sudden it heated up so much, it caught fire!
So I called up Dewalt and they said: “not to worry! It’s just a fire drill.”
REDDIT! IM GOING TO BE A DAD!!! :D
Why do partcles get exited when we heat something up?
Because it's volume increases
I accidentally turned a wrong valve in the factory which disabled the central cooling system and increased the temperature abruptly. I wasn't able to do anything, so I fled the scene immediately.
The police are now charging me for a 'Heat and Run' incident.
Kids, How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!!!
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
I find with the weather heating up, whether I stay inside or go outside...
I’m getting Spring Fever.
My wife asked me the best way to heat up her leftovers
I told her to put some hot sauce on it.
I get very heated when debating global warming with deniers.
Some might say I need to cool it down.
My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
What's more effective than a heat-seeking missile?
I’m really cold and my heater is broken,
So I moved to the corner, where it’s 90 degrees.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
I was cold in the house and asked my Dad to turn the heating up. He said “Go stand in the corner....
Did you hear about Australia heating up to 50°C?
It's a pretty hot topic right now.
What do you call two people arguing in a sauna?
That desert heat must have started getting to the sign makers
My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.
I told him, "My door is always open".
If someone can explain to me why my heating bills are so high..
..My door is always open.
What's faster, heat or cold?
Heat. Because you can catch a cold.
My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.
I told him, 'My door is always open!'
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