I haven't moved a muscle in over a year. I thought it was nothing to celebrate.
Imagine my surprise when my doctor told me I was getting a trophy.
Why haven’t aliens visited our Solar System yet?
They looked at the reviews... only 1 star
Why haven’t we seen Jim Carrey in public very often recently?
Well, most places have been requiring people to wear a mask, and we all know what happens when he wears one....
If you haven’t heard of the french cheese loving bear breed, you really should have.
It’s probably the most Camembert of all.
What do you call twins that haven't been born yet?
I haven't ate all day
I couldn't wait to sea food
A woman goes to her doctor. He says: “Haven’t seen you in a long time”
She says: “That’s because I was sick”.
You have, haven't you?
If you hit the butt of The Rock (Dwayne Johnson), haven't you hit rock bottom?
If you haven’t shot a weapon with your eyes closed
You don’t know what you’re missing.
I haven't any pie on pi day, so here's a pun instead
In 2017 I didn't jog. In 2018 I didn't jog. In 2019 I didn't jog. In 2020 I still haven't jogged.
To the people who haven’t gone to the toilet in 2021
Why are you still holding onto last year’s shit?
I haven't seen many Thanksgiving puns yet
But I'm sure more may flower in time.
I haven't kept up my subscription to the Scrabble club....
Now they have started sending me threatening letters.
You probably haven’t heard of that new movie, "Constipation"
I can't believe chickens haven't come up with a new sound yet
Maybe they should start thinking outside the bawks
Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?
They saw the rating- only one star.
I hope you haven't seen this before, but it needs to be reposted.
The bank want to repossess my tree house. They say I haven't kept up my mortgage payments....
I'm convinced it's a mix up from when I moved branches.
You do realize that it's biblically correct for a man to make the coffee. Haven't you ever read the book,
I haven’t had a haircut in months, and I normally hate long hair, but I told my wife...
Why haven’t they found Noah’s Ark?
Because it’s Noah to be found.
Since my daughter was born I haven't slept for 11 months.
Because that would be entirely too long.
I haven't been to the gym in years
It's been so long that I've gone back to calling it James
I haven’t showered for 3 months
I don’t know why I’d be in the shower that long, just think of the water bill that’d make!
My brother who works in a tannery has gone missing. We haven't seen hair nor hide of him.
My coworker asked what it’s called when you ask something but haven’t gotten an answer yet.
I told him that’s an outstanding question.
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
I haven’t slept for 6 days.
Because that would be too long.
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
Haven't got laid in so long I'm getting turned on by Dwayne Johnson's buttocks
I think I'm hitting ROCK BOTTOM
Haven’t seen many Minecraft puns on here, so here’s one for you guys
Since the quarantine started I haven't gotten a haircut. I wish I could just stop it where it's at
My son looked at me with a silly grin and asked, "What do you and an antique door have in common?" I shrugged and replied, "I haven't a clue, what?" He explained...
"You're both worth more than you used to be, even though you're unhinged and your knobs don't work!"
I spent four months working out and still haven't got any abs...
I haven’t seen this model before
I haven't lost a game of tennis in over a decade.
I also haven't played a game of tennis in over a decade.
This is going to be the first year that I haven't taken a vacation in Paris, because of the pandemic.
Usually it is due to lack of money
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?
They looked at the reviews, but we only had one star
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?
They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?
They looked at our reviews: only 1 star.
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