Yes, Iβd prefer they wear glasses.
His jokes were terrible but his delivery was spectacular.
When they were all killed, the newspaper headline read, "No gnus is good news!"
Something about delivery the screwing up.
I didn't want her getting involved in a shady business.
Grandpa: "You know the p'zone from pizza hut?"
Me: "Yeah, Why?"
Grandpa:"What do you get if they create a lasagna?...... P'asagna!"
My dad passed away about 3 years ago. Now that I am a dad as well I thought I would pass on his favorite joke, bear with me cuz its long, but worth it...
A poor man who lives in a straw hut wants to to impress his neighbor. So he works for 3 months, enough to buy a fancy chair at the market. He calls his neighbor over for dinner one night and has him sit in the chair at dinner. He asks his neighbor, " isn't this a very nice chair? " To which the neighbor replies "it's okay i guess"...
Heartbroken, after the neighbor leaves, the man takes the chair upstairs and puts it in a closet and thinks.. maybe it was not a nice enough chair...
He then works 6 months, leaves his little straw hut and hitches a ride to the city and buys an extravagant chair with velvet padding. Once again he has his neighbor over for dinner, this time the neighbor says "it's nice, but I've seen better"
Sad, the man stores the chair in the upstairs closet. But the man could not be deterred.
He then worked for an entire year, left his little straw hut and went all the way to the capitol and bought a gaudy, gold painted chair with lion motifs and silk pillows.
The neighbor comes over to dinner and says. "Wow, what an ugly chair!"
Furious, the man grabs the chair, marches upstairs and throws it in the closet with such force that his entire straw hut collapses.
I guess people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones...
A tan hut!!
Ps, my buddy who is a marine hates me for this joke
The king of a small African nation had an elegant golden throne in his large grass hut. When an old friend came to visit from another nation, he was worried that the man would discover he was a king and treat him differently. He searched frantically for a place to hide the throne, but to no avail. Finally, he decided to have it wedged up in the ceiling of his hut.
When his friend arrived, he went to the hut's opening to greet him. Just then, the ceiling started to give way, and the golden throne fell on the king and killed him.
The moral of the story is this: People who live in grass houses should not stow thrones.
Pizza HUT!
Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak. They've been out all day, and the sun's setting. As the temperature drops, they decide to light a campfire on the watercraft, which, unsurprisingly sinks. This just goes to prove that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Going out for pizza hut. brb in an hour
There once was a Viking by the name of Rudolph the Red. One day, whilst tending to his fields, Rudolph spotted rain clouds on the horizon. He immediately dropped what he was doing and ran inside his hut to tell his wife.
"Honey, there are dark clouds on the horizon. The rains' will be here any minute" he said. She scoffed at him, "Rudolph you old fool. How could you possibly know that?" Angered by this, Rudolph turned to her and said...
"Rudolph the Red knows rain dear!"
"Did you hear my joke about the Indian chief's wives?"
The first wife lived in a hut made of deer hide, and bore him one son.
The second wife lived in a hut made of bear hide, and bore him one son.
The third wife lived in a hut of hippopotamus skin and bore him twin sons.
"Thus the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of two hides!"
A fucking mad lib on the Pythagorean theorem. I'm pissed. He's so happy. Love you dad.
