Where does a sheep go to have his haircut ?
If a person doesn’t have to go to prison but has to see an officer every two weeks...
Do they have a probationship?
Why can't skeletons go outside and have fun?
Because they don't have any body to go with.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
Why didn't Batman have to go to the meat store?
I try to make sure I have the noisiest rifle when I go hunting.
It ensures I get a good bang for my Buck.
Murphy's Law states anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Cole's Law?
I got arrested for dumping ice under the overpass last night. I thought they would have let me go this morning.
Surely it's just water under the bridge by now?
I’m so glad 2020 is over, but I can’t believe we have to go through it again after 2021...
After all, it’s twenty twenty too
Did you know that you change nationalities when you really have to go to the bathroom?
When you’re trying to find the facilities, you’re Russian. Once you get there though, European.
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
Had to have blood taken today. Staff tried to put needle in but didn't go into the blood vessel.
So since it didn't go in the vein, it was in vain
I have decided to go to a city in SW France to study history and art.
I figure, what do I have Toulouse.
My dad was telling me about his doctor’s appointment today. He needed to get some vaccines, but because of Covid he would have to go to the office and they would give them to him in his car.
He said he was going to be involved in a drive by shooting.
If one person has to go to the bathroom, they have to pee
If two or more people have to go to the bathroom, they have to queue
I have an appointment to go to the dentist
I have to go to the Dam Store again. Forgot the milk
I have a great business idea but i need someone to help me. I go to the toilet and you tie up bits of string.
Do u think if a British person heard an American person go “ugh I have a bloody nose” they would think “we all have noses you know”
Credit goes to my friend who made the joke
You shouldn't go around saying how everyone should have a job and their own accommodation.
Pro Tip: If you have a gashed wound, it is cheaper to go to a comedy club than the emergency room.
You just pay the cover charge and they'll have you in stitches.
What do you have to go through when you get roasted on DramaAlert?
When you mess up on the first go but you have a good recovery
Why does the sun have no need to go to college?
It already has 27 million degrees...
My friend said. “I am late. I have to go and feed my baby hamsters.”
I said, “ Are you sure your baby would like it?”
Dad: “I like to have my shoes match my pants. For instance, my brown shoes go well with my blue pants and my black shoes go well with my gray pants. My stripper heels on the other hand...”
“...don’t go with anything.”
My dad never makes “dad jokes” but, he actually said this yesterday and I’m so proud.
If my child won't go to bed, I'll have him put in jail.
Wow i have to take onenote from that guy, made me laugh so bad i had to go to the DOC
Why did the shoelace have to go to time out?
I used to upholster furniture for a living and hated it. My boss switched me to packing for a while then switched me back. I hate it so bad I have to go to a support group. Talking helps me to do the damned job.
Why do all felines have to go to the eye doctor?
Do you know the keyboard shortcut to help you not have to go the bathroom when you’re working or playing PC games?
Speaking to a friend: "My mother once told me, 'if you want to go further on your journey, you have to take that next step, no matter how daunting'." My friend piped up, "Don't you mean farther?" To which I replied:
"No, I'm fairly certain it was my mother."
Credit to B.C. (comic strip), most likely paraphrased since I read it many a moon ago, though I'm fairly certain the punchline is very close to the original.
Every morning at 3am, I have to get up and go to the bathroom. I guess that’s why they call it the wee hours of the morning.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Why do you have to wear a jacket when you go to a coal mine?
Because it is coal inside
Come on, Son, we have to go to this bathroom.
Son: Why?
Dad: Because is the the men’s room. We go in the men’s room.
Son: Why?
Dad: Because we’re men.
Son: Why?
Dad: That’s correct
What do you call it when you have to go pee right before you sleep?
Normally if I have a problem, I like to go and think about it on the local carousel.
It usually helps, but I feel like I’m going around in circles
Why skeletons can't go outside and have fun?
Because they don't have any body to go with.
Source:
Borrowed from r/UncleJokes
We all know about Murphy’s Law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s Law?
It’s thinly sliced cabbage
If you’ve heard of Murphy’s law, which is that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, then have you heard of Cole’s law?
It’s thinly sliced cabbage
We all know about Murphy’s Law – Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s Law?
It’s thinly sliced cabbage.
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