Hand Surgery Puns

A handjob. (Sorry for my shitty grammar)

Doctor, to my partner about her injury: Do you have any other fingers?

Me: Well, she's got nine others, but it's only the one that's bothering her.

This happened verbatim on Tuesday afternoon.

Discussing emergency surgery on my one month old son with the anesthesiologist. I said:

"I hope you have an alternate method for putting him to sleep. He isn't too good at counting back from 100 yet."

While the doctor got a good chuckle out of that my wife dropped her head into her hands and said "dadjokes. It's too soon for that crap."

It is never too soon for dadjokes!

I had this dream, I was at my Grandparent's house, and my grandfather was doing some sort of hand surgery on me, my bones were all showing and he was taking out some calcified tissue that was stuck to my bones. It was pretty weird and very graphic.

My coworker says "Wow, that's so weird! Does he do something like that for a living?"

I say, "Well no, he isn't a surgeon, but he is quite the handy man!"

I called my dad the day after he had major back surgery and asked him how he felt. His response: "With my hands."