A list of puns related to "Halved"
(Under breath but loud enough that everyone can hear) guess he was really Puttin some work in
I wanted to halve my cake and eat it too.
βThanks! You/2β
*I am not a real Dad but I have one and Iβve studied the art.
They really halve their shit together
Me: you want to halve your recipe and eat it too?
Yeah, theyβre halving the time of their life.
But I will make one if I halve two.
We went to Stratco (fence & roofing company) this morning, to look at and price up a new side fence. You know how you can get decorative top panels, well there is one that is just a bunch of linked circles that my wife liked.
I vetoed it though; I thought the neighbours might find it a bit o-ffencive...
He slid the loaf into the oven to bake. He told his son, βThis bread is for a very special occasion, so Iβm going to make a back-up.β He then plopped an extra loafβs worth of dough onto the table, sliced it into two equal pieces, and immediately put them away. The boy asked, βDad, whyβd you do that?β The baker smiled and told his son, βItβs better to halve it and not knead it.β
You cut the table in half, because two halves make a hole.
He only had 2 worms.
You've got the halves and the have-knots.
Break the stick in half. Two halves make a whole. Climb out.
"Talk to me baby, a problem shared is a problem halved."
Unfortunately her problem was fractions, so she had no clue what I was talking aboutβ¦
It takes two doughnut halves to make a doughnut hole
It will be called halves.
Two halves make a whole, and a donut already has one
You look in the mirror and saw what you see, then saw the dresser in half.
Then you use the two halves of the dresser to make a whole, and jump through it to freedom.
So, this just happened last night. My son (11 years old, and a true lover of dad jokes) is not presently speaking to me.
After i just finished cutting an avocado in two... Me: Shall we "halve" some avocado with dinner tonight? Huh? Huh? (Dramatically pointing to the cut produce in Vanna White style.) Son: (Unimpressed). I might take a little. Me: You might? I say you "halve two!" (Again gesturing dramatically to the two halves.) Son: groan That was TERRIBLE... But you score extra points for a double pun. Me: Av-a-cad-o million more where those came from. Mic Drop
Luckily the doctors said he would be alright.
I halve to know
Dad said It's a game of two halves!
...in the middle of the night.
Two dead men got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords...
And shot each other!
How do you escape Prison?
Bang your head against the wall until it's sore.
Saw your bed in half,
Two halves make a whole,
Crawl through the hole,
Shout until you're hoarse,
Climb on the horse and gallop away!
Waitress asked how many, four with the two kids?
My response: three if you count the two halves. Both the waitress and wife looked at me funny.
But I will make one if I halve two.
But I will if I halve two.
Break the stick in half...
...two halves make a hole.
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