Stoners are lighter, cause only balloons get high

Each time you light with a lighter, the lighter gets lighter untill the light so light that it will not light

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dis907kid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the balloon factory go out of business?

Too much inflation

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Billy ride a hot air balloon?

He wanted to be a Billyonair.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rpdaca
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Expensive balloons
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeWhoHonks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The police arrested me for being a helium balloon.

They held me for a while but eventually let me go.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eddie_Youds
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
what music genre was the balloon most scared of?

pop

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Two balloons flying through a desert.

One balloon to the other : watch out, there’s a cactussssss

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chabmitdefarb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you do when balloons are hurt?

You helium.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I was arrested earlier for stealing helium balloons.

The cops held me for a while, then let go .

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I just threw a pee-filled water balloon at my son

He was pissed.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captain’s birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, β€œArrr! That was a costly mistake...”

β€œWe lost a lot of doubloons.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unfussed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of music frightens balloons?

Pop music.

πŸ‘︎ 219
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cunt_Puffin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How do I determine the cost of a balloon after adjusting for inflation?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fawkes_1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What music genre won’t balloons listen to?

Pop

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lafilafi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I once tied my dog’s stick to a balloon, he brought it back from several miles away...

I know, it sounds a bit far-fetched.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why the cost of balloons is going up?

Inflation.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I forgot all about the balloon I attached to the water hose outside!

Edit: oh wow, this blew up!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do you need to be so careful if you're learning about hot air ballooning as a hobby?

It's easy to get carried away.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aelbaum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the tv show where hot air balloons are attached to peoples cars

Blimp My Ride

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brandon_Mercer078
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are balloons so expensive?

The prices keep going up due to inflation

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toku-Nation
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I needed hot air balloon pilots for an event. I could either hire or use prison labor.

Dad told me I should weigh the pros and cons first.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/exaball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of music does a balloon liseten to?

Pop!

^Also ^this ^is ^my ^first ^joke, ^so ^sorry ^if ^someone ^has ^made ^it ^before ^but ^I ^haven't ^seen ^it ^(yet)

πŸ‘︎ 198
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Annabeth666
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Neighbours outside just had a reveal party. From all the hooting and hollering after the balloon pop...

I can report that they are having an owl

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/50ShadesOfPalmBay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she will let it go.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Daughter had a balloon with a penny in it.

So, for Easter, my wife and I got our 2-year-old an array of balloons from a delivery service, including some pre-inflated pieces you could β€œbuild your own butterfly” with, etc. It was pretty cool, but coolest of all was this clear balloon pretty tightly inflated with a single penny in it, and if you shook the balloon enough, the penny would eventually find its way to circling the inside of the balloon.

Those balloons lasted for weeks, until today. If you’ve ever seen a clear balloon deflate, you know it gets a little yellow and opaque.

My wife found it laying around and brought it to me, saying, β€œThis looks like a condom with a penny in it.” And I said, β€œThat’s why they call it a money shot.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dormsta
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do balloons filled with helium cost more than balloons sold in packages?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that the first ever balloons were made out of animal intestines and organs?

That means the first balloons weren't balloon animals, but ballooned animals.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How did Pixar decide on a name for the movie about an elderly man who attached balloons to his house?

They made it Up.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dontstoprock
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.

It didn’t go down very well.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the balloon cost $100?

Because of inflation!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of music do balloons hate?

Pop music

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I was arrested yesterday for stealing helium balloons,

The police held me for a while then let me go.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of music do balloons hate?

Pop music!

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon

Cause she’ll let it go

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fruitloops-420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are balloons so expensive

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PdawgUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does the price of balloons keep going up?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tygerhavvk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of music do balloons hate?

Pop music!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Never trust advice from a balloon.

They’re just full of hot air.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
So I walked past a store in my hometown that sells only balloons

...and I thought to myself "what clowns are keeping this business afloat?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I dont make jokes about balloons

They tend to get carried away

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PdawgUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the scientist say when he popped two helium balloons?

He He.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shipostingcat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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