Hair Brush Puns

A Honeycomb.

Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.

She's a comb raider.

My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"

He's advancing so quickly.

Me, eyebrow raised: “And why is that sweetheart?”

Her: “Because mine has a crack in it!”

I actually laughed. I don’t really know where she heard the joke or if she even knows why it’s funny, but it’s a good start to the day.

Proud dad moment.

I adopted a Laissez-hair policy

"Looks like your hair made it on the knotty list."

He just can’t part with it.

1.    Why do prisoners hate computers?
   

The escape key never works.

2.   How do trees get on the internet? 
   

They log in.

3.  Knock knock.
   

Who's there? Toucan. Toucan who? Toucan play at that game

4. How do bees brush their hair? With honeycombs.

5. Why was the empty Olympic stadium so hot? All the fans had left.

6. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.

7. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was playing crossy road.

8. Can February March? No but April may.

9. Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.

10.why are recycling bins so optimistic? Cuz they're full of cans.

[Insert minion meme]

So my girlfriend asked me to help her brush her hair cause she said it was knotty. This is our conversation

GF: Hey can you brush my hair real quick? It's knotty.

ME: Sure but let me slip into something more comfortable.

GF: Why?

ME: Cause it's naughty (also had my best sexy face on)

GF: ... Ugh...

Needless to say she's brushed it herself.

We have recently been having problems with the plumbing, water draining very slowly etc. We tried different chemicals on different days to try and fix it before biting the bullet and getting someone clear them for us.

First day I started out with HCl and told my wife I was "going off to drop some acid." She groaned.

A few days later we switched to NaOH and I brushed my hair to the side and asked my wife if she liked my Skrillex impersonation. She told me it wasn't a very good impersonation. I said "hold your judgment for when I drop the base.".... She threatened me with a knife and told me to get out while laughing.

Today, I woke up my daughter (14) for school at 6 am. She first goes into the bathroom.

When she arrives at the breakfast table her hair is still really messy.

My wife fetches a brush and says: "Oh my god, you look terrible!"

Me: "Yes, and have you seen her hair!?"

Me (brushing off my shirt): Where does all this cat hair come from?

Dad: Maybe from the cat?

Thanks Dad.

Getting ready for school, she's brushing her hair and is crying because it is knotty. I told her she needs to give it a time out. I got the look of "seriously?", then a small smile

He was brushing her hair and she said "Dad there is a kid in my grade with same size feet as you." He replied with "Ya so do I."

He just can’t part with it.