I was going to stop all my bad habits for the new year
Then I remembered nobody likes a quitter.
Due to my flatulent habits my daughters have started calling me "Farther"
They didn't like it when I retaliated with...
"Daughturds"
I was anxiously waiting to hear the result of the Worst Bad Habit Awards
My dog Minton has a terrible habit of eating shuttlecocks....
So I picked up a pretty bad smoking habit...
My son hates it... he always likes to tell me “dad! Stop! Smoking causes cancer”... I’m always disappointed to inform him, “No son. Smoking causes ashes”
My friend Anne has the habit of hiring & firing people...
I hate to see someone Anne employed.
My friend has this weird habit where he gnaws at bricks when he visits someone’s home.
Doctors are calling it Munch housin’ syndrome.
I have a bad habit of ripping up my artwork if I don't like it.
I probably shouldn't have become a tattoo artist.
Bought a book about my procrastination habit
I had a habit of excess masturbation but I'm glad I was able to beat it.
I have a compulsive habit of obliterating album CD's of classic hard rock bands
You could say I've got an appetite for destruction
nuns are literally creatures of habit
I had to give up my habit of eating clocks
It was just too time consuming
You know what they say about old habits...
you can buy them from a boot sale at a convent.
Carrots have a hard time getting rid of bad habits.
It's a deeply rooted issue.
I wonder if nuns ever pick up bad habits
This weekend I will absolutely kick my habit of tapping on dead trees
Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies, because you know what they say about old habits...
Whenever my friend walks into a room, he has this weird habit of taking the batteries out of all the clocks.
He claims he can stop it at any time.
My grandfather has this weird habit of naming all the fish he catches.
Yesterday he scaled Mount Everest.
I asked my Priest if there were any habits that he couldn't break.
He replied that he prays everyday religiously.
Archie Bunker was forced to choose between his wife and his drinking habit.
You can’t have your keg and Edith, too
I kicked a nasty habit today.
Consequently, the nun wearing it filed assault charges against me.
My dad told me that back in the day, Jesus had a habit of leaving doors open all the time.
It’s like he was born in a barn or something.
I had a nasty habit.
But then I got it dry cleaned.
Just downloaded a habit tracker
My friend wants me to end my habit of eating glue.
My friend has a habit of dropping things.
It's getting out of hand.
My wife had a bad habit of biting her nails but I cured her.
This is becoming a habit.
My wife threatened to leave me over my "filthy and disgusting habits".
I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.
I have a bad habit of crushing things in this machine.
I have a bad habit of drinking while reading....
Just the other day, I finished Tequila Mockingbird
The local church's Mother Superior has the worst drinking habit I've ever seen,
I survey election habits of Democrats. My friend surveys election habits of Republicans.
Old habits are like overenthusiastic autoerotic asphyxiation fetishists.
I don't have any kids. According to my nephew, this disqualifies me from telling dad jokes. But he's always preaching that my diet is too high in carbohydrates, so my eating habits really irritate him and get under his skin.
I guess this makes me his carbuncle.
My sister has a dangerous shopping habit. She purchased 1000 kitchen utensils just last week.
She's always been one to take unnecessary whisks, though.
If your judge at your trial has a habit of rambling on,
Be prepared for a long sentence.
Did you hear about the guy who had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks?
I have a bad habit of not finishing things
Nuns are creatures of habit.
Carrots have a hard time getting rid of bad habits.
It's a deeply rooted issue.
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