I worked a place with strict grooming guidelines but we are currently closed for the duration.

Due to social distancing and other issues I am not going to cut my hair or trim my beard for a time. How long? Furlough time.

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👤︎ u/xstofer
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
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I'm trying to stick to the six feet of separation guidelines...

...but my wife refuses to sleep on the couch.

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📅︎ Mar 30 2020
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My wife is a nurse and was telling me about the guidelines they're following...

My only comment was WHO do they think they are telling you what to do?

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👤︎ u/jarage00
📅︎ Mar 20 2020
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Under new TSA guidelines, airports in the US

Will only be allowed to sell plane chocolate.

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👤︎ u/fingadod
📅︎ Jan 09 2020
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Today, I got kicked out of my "Flat Earth" Facebook group...

I just wanted to know if the '6 feet apart' social distancing guideline was pushing anyone over the edge.

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📅︎ Aug 03 2020
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r/dadjokes is recruiting moderators, join us!

Update: Thanks for all your applications! Give /u/parin89 and I a few days to take a look and confer!
(if you haven't put your application in yet, you've still got time)

-

Greetings /r/dadjokes subscribers,

Years have passed since this sub started up, and there are now literally millions of you. Whoa.

Two million people is just two many two handle for two moderators. Especially these days, when both /u/parin89 and I have two many other responsibilities and a whole lot less time. I'm 200% sure most of you would agree that more mods are needed.

So we're looking for 5 more moderators to get involved. If you're keen to apply, read the rest of this post and answer the three questions in your comment response.

Answer these 3 questions in your reply:

  1. How would you describe a dad joke?
  2. Do you currently moderate any other subreddits? If yes, which ones.
  3. You see a post that is not breaking the rules or reddit's posting guidelines, but is generally disliked by the community. What do you do?

Only apply if:

  • You're a reasonable, fair-minded and patient human
  • You're in it to keep this community a happy, friendly and safe place for other humans
  • You've got previous mod experience from a decent sized community (let's say... 5k+)
  • You're cool with the first few months being a trial run
  • You understand that while we could use more active moderation, and would benefit from a few more rules, one of the things that makes this community great is that it's pretty open (after all, dad jokes repeat a lot and not every "repost" is necessarily an opportunistic attempt to game karma)

We'd benefit from a few practical things as well, it would be great if:

  • You live in a timezone that covers off either the USA, the UK, Australia (we'd like a spread)
  • You've got some automod experience
  • You've got some sub-customisation experience

Don't apply if:

  • You're ready to come out swinging with a power tripping ban hammer
  • You're more concerned about Internet points than real people

We'll leave this stickied for a week and then come back to message a few people and make some selections.

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👤︎ u/tali3sin
📅︎ Oct 14 2019
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Damn right

Under the current guidelines your milkshake is only permitted to bring 9 boys to the yard, max.

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📅︎ Mar 24 2020
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Tried to dad joke my husband, he one upped me

Eating dinner he dropped his fork and asked me to get another one to which I replied, "Fork you", without missing a beat he said, "knife one."

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📅︎ Jan 09 2014
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I think I've taken this one to a whole new level

Dave is working at his job at the Time Travel Factory when his partner Bob comes back in his own time machine. "Come quick Dave!" he says "I just got back from the Middle Ages and have met a prince!" So Dave climbs into Bob's machine and they head to the Middle Ages.

They arrive at a castle and immediately meet the prince Bob was talking about. "Your Majesty" says Bob "Allow me to introduce my friend Dave. He works with me at the Time Traveling factory." As Dave bows, the Prince says "It is an honor to meet you my loyal subject. I am a Prince. My mother and father are Queen and King of this kingdom."

"It is even more of an honor to meet you, Your Highness" says Dave. "I have never met royalty before."

"It is indeed a rare honor for most subjects." said the prince. "Because of a strict guideline of pre-arranged marriage and inbreeding, there are only a small number of us around."

"Er...ok..." said Dave. "So tell me Prince, how vast is your kingdom."

"It is most large" said the Prince. "However my population has been dwindling lately. In recent months, I've had to behead a large number of my subjects. It fulfills my bloodlust and desire for authoritarian control by any means necessary."

Clearly uncomfortable, Dave turns to Bob and quietly says "I hate to say it, but this prince you've found is kind of a bummer."

Bob said to Dave "Well what did you expect, I told you. I have meta prince.

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📅︎ Aug 23 2017
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I just got kicked out of the flat earth society

I asked if the 6 feet social distancing guidelines pushed anyone over the edge.

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👤︎ u/mycorona69
📅︎ Aug 03 2020
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