I hope the standards of this sub are low enough
An American, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, a Burmese, a Chinese, a Canadian, a Dutchman, a Dane, an Englishman, an Estonian, a German, a Japanese, a Korean, a Mexican, a Nepalese, a Pole, a Russian, and a Welshman all walk into a posh bar. The doorman says sorry, we have standards.
You can’t come in without a Thai.
Women’s standards are always too high
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if any of this sub's top ten jokes met this standard
I used to have high standards
until someone stole all my flagpoles.
What television video interface standard was created by Yoda?
One time I lowered my standards when it came to a girl but I told my friends afterwards the girl was hot like a summer day in the Sahara. You could say I metaphor.
Everyone always talks about their standard poodle
Am I the only one who drives an automatic?
Who enforces cheese standards in Mexico?
So tired of these double standards.
If a woman sleeps with ten men she's a slut, but if a man does it he's gay.
Why are dogs more likely to chase standard cars than automatic ones?
Job requirements are hire standards
Just a standard conversation with my dad...
http://i.imgur.com/Xp8DaVY.png
Ray's Your Standards for Steak
Driving thru customs, standard dad answer when asked if there were any food or animals to declare...
Dad's standard answer to "How do you have your coffee?"
A Standard Poodle can be a lot of trouble for a first-time dog owner
I’d recommend an Automatic Poodle
Roommate rummaging through the wine shelf: "dude, what's the difference between this Cabernet standard and a Cabernet reserve?"
me: "one called ahead!"
she left.
Not sure if this is up to standard
The SO asked me to do her a favor.
Me: Sure
Her: Can you run upstairs—
Me: yup
Her: and get me my—
Me: Wait, there's more?
Her: roll eyes
Me: Hyena laugh.
Dad's standard response to (anyone) noticing his haircut...
Unsuspecting straight-person stating the obvious: "You've had a haircut!"
Dad: "No, actually, I had several of them cut.
...y'know, it works out cheaper to have them all done at the same time!"
Dad's standard answer to "How many sugars?" (...would you like in your tea/coffee)
"Fourteen."
<beat>
"...but don't stir it - I don't like it sweet."
My standard response.
Wife: "I ran into someone_someone at the shops today."
Me: "Did you apologise?"
My dad tends to stare (as they do) when I ask him what he's looking at he has two standard responses:
"Puzzle with a nose in it"
or
"I dunno, the label fell off"
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if this sub's top ten jokes met this standard.
Who enforces cheese standards in Mexico?
The Cheddarales (ched-er-AHL-ays).
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