24 Hilarious Standard Puns - Punstoppable 😜

I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if any of this sub's top ten jokes met this standard

But no pun in ten did.

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👤︎ u/Harambememes69

📅︎ Feb 24 2020

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I used to have high standards

until someone stole all my flagpoles.

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👤︎ u/ShiftyMcShift

📅︎ Feb 26 2020

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What television video interface standard was created by Yoda?

HDMI?

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👤︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush

📅︎ Feb 13 2020

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Women’s standards are always too high

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👤︎ u/bence0302

📅︎ May 19 2019

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Everyone always talks about their standard poodle

Am I the only one who drives an automatic?

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👤︎ u/NeilsErikTheRedd

📅︎ Dec 08 2019

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Who enforces cheese standards in Mexico?

The Feta-ralies.

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👤︎ u/Avian80

📅︎ Oct 31 2019

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One time I lowered my standards when it came to a girl but I told my friends afterwards the girl was hot like a summer day in the Sahara. You could say I metaphor.

Get it? Met-a-four?

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👤︎ u/raging64

📅︎ Apr 16 2019

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Why are dogs more likely to chase standard cars than automatic ones?

Because they’re stick

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Classic-Canuck

📅︎ Apr 28 2019

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So tired of these double standards.

If a woman sleeps with ten men she's a slut, but if a man does it he's gay.

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👤︎ u/Valdagast

📅︎ Apr 25 2019

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What’s a cookie’s standard unit for force?

A Fig Newton.

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👤︎ u/Totoro10101

📅︎ Mar 20 2019

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Job requirements are hire standards

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👤︎ u/Kahnonymous

📅︎ Jan 07 2019

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This is pretty tenuous even by dollar-store standards.... imgur.com/Tr4L2qv

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👤︎ u/ultra-saurus

📅︎ Jun 07 2015

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Ray's Your Standards for Steak

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👤︎ u/RedditCitizenKane

📅︎ Aug 30 2013

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A Standard Poodle can be a lot of trouble for a first-time dog owner

I’d recommend an Automatic Poodle

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👤︎ u/landsmith

📅︎ Oct 16 2017

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Driving thru customs, standard dad answer when asked if there were any food or animals to declare...

"Just the wife"

👍︎ 140

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👤︎ u/Leiderdorp

📅︎ Aug 25 2013

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Dad's standard answer to "How do you have your coffee?"

"In a cup."

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👤︎ u/Cadder

📅︎ Oct 23 2013

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Roommate rummaging through the wine shelf: "dude, what's the difference between this Cabernet standard and a Cabernet reserve?"

me: "one called ahead!"

she left.

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👤︎ u/jackiejack1

📅︎ Nov 15 2016

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Not sure if this is up to standard

The SO asked me to do her a favor.

Me: Sure

Her: Can you run upstairs—

Me: yup

Her: and get me my—

Me: Wait, there's more?

Her: roll eyes

Me: Hyena laugh.

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👤︎ u/n10w4

📅︎ Jul 28 2015

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Dad's standard response to (anyone) noticing his haircut...

Unsuspecting straight-person stating the obvious: "You've had a haircut!"

Dad: "No, actually, I had several of them cut.

...y'know, it works out cheaper to have them all done at the same time!"

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👤︎ u/Cadder

📅︎ Oct 23 2013

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Dad's standard answer to "How many sugars?" (...would you like in your tea/coffee)

"Fourteen."

<beat>

"...but don't stir it - I don't like it sweet."

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👤︎ u/Cadder

📅︎ Oct 23 2013

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My standard response.

Wife: "I ran into someone_someone at the shops today."

Me: "Did you apologise?"

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👤︎ u/BrokkenFrepz

📅︎ Oct 30 2013

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My dad tends to stare (as they do) when I ask him what he's looking at he has two standard responses:

"Puzzle with a nose in it" or "I dunno, the label fell off"

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👤︎ u/thechristopherbruce

📅︎ Oct 15 2013

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I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if this sub's top ten jokes met this standard.

But no pun in ten did

👍︎ 9k

💬︎

👤︎ u/HAL9000000

📅︎ Sep 19 2017

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Who enforces cheese standards in Mexico?

The Cheddarales (ched-er-AHL-ays).

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/molotok_c_518

📅︎ Dec 11 2016

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