Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/DeusJZ
📅︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The state passed a new regulation that you can only have one dock at a boat landing.

Because if you had two it would be a paradox.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/mrmunkey
📅︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Pun regulation
👍︎ 33
💬︎
👤︎ u/RayDosson
📅︎ Aug 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What do regulators do on work retreats?

Anti-trust falls.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Mexican Mint worker who makes salsa on the side and has an implanted cardiac regulator?

A Pace Making Pace Makered Peso Maker.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/Pfheonix
📅︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
"The Codfather" caught baiting regulators with his fishy business practices thefern.org/ag_insider/co…
👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/elle_bee
📅︎ Sep 27 2017
🚨︎ report
A construction worker walks into a bar

And puts an ice pack on his head because it was made of metal

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
*knock knock* "Who's there?"

"Pun-patrol! You s-pun around on your chair way beyond government regulations!"

"I can't help it! I'm pun-sexual!"

"Sir, o-pun the door or we will have to use force!"

"Stay back! I have a hostage! I don't care if my crimes will ever get ex-pun-ged!"

"Lay down your wea-pun! Face your pun-ishment!"

"Sir, I just arrived and can confirm, he has a Pun-da!"

"Thank god for your pun-ctuality! This changes everything! Now go and pun-ch down the door!"

crashing noises

"Sir! We have fumes! God, what is this pun-gent smell??"

"Ahaha, you ran into my trap! Now die, Pun-k!"

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

silence

"No time for com-pun-ction. Come, S-pun-ky, we need to leave. Let's head for Pun-ama."

EDIT: formatting.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/D0tBlue
📅︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The front of an FDA guide on marijuana

FDA Regulation of Marijuana: Past Actions, Future Plans Douglas C. Throckmorton, M.D. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) ICSB/ASP Joint Meeting April 12, 2016


A Joint meeting on marijuana...

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a royal sea bird?

Regull.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Only cabbage for Christmas

So my wife was rooting through my desk to get an envelope and stumbled across one of her Christmas presents that I hadn't wrapped yet. I told her that she's bad for snooping and that I would have to send it back.

Due to recent environmental regulations and the price of coal, it is no longer given to naughty people for Christmas. Instead you get a cabbage. It will come thinly sliced with mayonnaise.

This is known as Coal's Law.

"That was the whole setup wasn't it for that line"

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/mjbehrendt
📅︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I had to fire someone for wearing too much aftershave at work.

It was a fragrant breach of the regulations.

👍︎ 44
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 28 2013
🚨︎ report
A proposition for this subreddit: Dad jokes only made by dads

Hi,

I really like this subreddit, but a little too often, I see submissions of corny jokes that are spun as dad jokes. While these stories are humorous, I'm uncertain if this should be the place for them. Perhaps theres a better subreddit out there? I've done a little bit of research, and I haven't found anything too specific, but I'm curious to see what others think. There obviously isn't any strict rules to this subreddit, but I feel like some of the magic is gone when dad jokes are not told by dads. Thoughts?

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/agrabb
📅︎ Apr 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Legal Cake

Uncle: "You know the Bavarian Purity Laws that regulate the ingredients in German beer? In Vienna they have similar laws regulating pastry." Me: "Oh really? Cake laws?" Uncle: "Actually, they call them Torte Laws."

👍︎ 25
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 30 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.