Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

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👤︎ u/DeusJZ
📅︎ Jun 26 2020
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What do regulators do on work retreats?

Anti-trust falls.

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📅︎ Jan 16 2020
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The state passed a new regulation that you can only have one dock at a boat landing.

Because if you had two it would be a paradox.

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👤︎ u/mrmunkey
📅︎ Jul 08 2019
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What do you call a Mexican Mint worker who makes salsa on the side and has an implanted cardiac regulator?

A Pace Making Pace Makered Peso Maker.

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👤︎ u/Pfheonix
📅︎ Jun 05 2019
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"The Codfather" caught baiting regulators with his fishy business practices thefern.org/ag_insider/co…
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👤︎ u/elle_bee
📅︎ Sep 27 2017
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A construction worker walks into a bar

And puts an ice pack on his head because it was made of metal

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📅︎ Jan 25 2019
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*knock knock* "Who's there?"

"Pun-patrol! You s-pun around on your chair way beyond government regulations!"

"I can't help it! I'm pun-sexual!"

"Sir, o-pun the door or we will have to use force!"

"Stay back! I have a hostage! I don't care if my crimes will ever get ex-pun-ged!"

"Lay down your wea-pun! Face your pun-ishment!"

"Sir, I just arrived and can confirm, he has a Pun-da!"

"Thank god for your pun-ctuality! This changes everything! Now go and pun-ch down the door!"

crashing noises

"Sir! We have fumes! God, what is this pun-gent smell??"

"Ahaha, you ran into my trap! Now die, Pun-k!"

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

silence

"No time for com-pun-ction. Come, S-pun-ky, we need to leave. Let's head for Pun-ama."

EDIT: formatting.

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👤︎ u/D0tBlue
📅︎ Apr 02 2019
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What do you call a royal sea bird?

Regull.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Dec 30 2018
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A proposition for this subreddit: Dad jokes only made by dads

Hi,

I really like this subreddit, but a little too often, I see submissions of corny jokes that are spun as dad jokes. While these stories are humorous, I'm uncertain if this should be the place for them. Perhaps theres a better subreddit out there? I've done a little bit of research, and I haven't found anything too specific, but I'm curious to see what others think. There obviously isn't any strict rules to this subreddit, but I feel like some of the magic is gone when dad jokes are not told by dads. Thoughts?

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👤︎ u/agrabb
📅︎ Apr 27 2014
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The front of an FDA guide on marijuana

FDA Regulation of Marijuana: Past Actions, Future Plans Douglas C. Throckmorton, M.D. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) ICSB/ASP Joint Meeting April 12, 2016


A Joint meeting on marijuana...

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👤︎ u/Spotted_Lady
📅︎ Apr 23 2018
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I had to fire someone for wearing too much aftershave at work.

It was a fragrant breach of the regulations.

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📅︎ Dec 28 2013
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Legal Cake

Uncle: "You know the Bavarian Purity Laws that regulate the ingredients in German beer? In Vienna they have similar laws regulating pastry." Me: "Oh really? Cake laws?" Uncle: "Actually, they call them Torte Laws."

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👤︎ u/ludwigvanbiteme
📅︎ Sep 30 2013
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