Because he was ripped
It's a pane.
It's apparent.
Except rainy days and Mondays always get them down.
Because the pregnant one has two horsepower.
..so we stopped and went home.
Because buffalo chicken is harder to catch.
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
I never expected to see pair a normal beings when I started studying alien aircraft, you follow, G?
I said yes, you do it twice a year.
Thank you I’ll see myself out
She's a real mathemachicken!
He always says, "you know the drill!"
Some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast. Diahrrea...
Regular rocks are too heavy.
Because they are G-I-ants
I told him, "well, this time, you should."
But do you know where the Minneapolis?
A perish-ute
It's a gross waste of resources.
Itll be only inside jokes from now
My job is transporting envelopes and packages from place to place, but I'm not sure I want to make it a courier.
Just from the first sentence, I knew he meant business.
A common tater.
that can't remember the lyrics?
People regularly consider us as fishy
It's pretty easy and it won't hurt one bit.
Because actions speak louder than words.
Boo-bees.
A roux teen.
the joke just left me scratching my head.
A regular bard-ershop quartet.
The flavor.
So I figure this is a regular occurrence for people, and idk if anyone's posted about it before (if so my bad), but y'all ever get real worked up about gnats?
Like,
- It's not a mosquit-hoe.
- Still wants to bug me anyway.
- Can't call 911, so who do you call? S.W.A.T.?
- You can slap your knees as much as you want but it doesn't get any funnier.
- You might wonder if the gnat's a bit buzzed.
Sorry if these puns are so bad they fly over your head. Sometimes you just gotta wing it. 😉
Regular workers must wear small face shields, while Managers get to use the super-visors.
Rüdoff was one of the best fighters in his village and a terrifying opponent on the battlefield. He would often return from battle, so drenched in his opponent's blood that he became known as "Rüdoff det røde", meaning "the red".
After years of wars, and regular battles, Rüdoff finally grew old, and decided that his fighting days were behind him. He became the best farmer that his village had ever known and people would travel from.far away to ask him about his crops and to predict the weather, as he was quite proficient at it.
One morning he wokeup, and looked out the window, the skys were clear and the sun was shining, but Rüdoff could feel the pressure in his old bones and battle scars
"It will Rain soon", he said to his wife while she made breakfast. She glanced outside and told him he was nuts, it was bright and sunny.
He simply hiked up his pants and reminded her:
Rüdoff The Red knows rain, dear.
“No, Fred, nice to meet you”
When it becomes apparent.
When it becomes apparent...
When the punchline becomes apparent.
