A dad joke is a lot like a regular joke…

it’s just a bit father away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gargito
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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My wife regularly confuses the words Burro, and Burrow.

She doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground.

πŸ‘︎ 417
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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Do regular dogs see a police dog

And think Oh no, a cop!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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When does a regular joke become a dad joke?

When the punchline is apparent.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustSomeFeller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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Why did the torn piece of paper beat the regular piece of paper in a fight

Because he was ripped

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Komebak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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I play Chess regularly with my friend, but last time he suddenly said " let's make this interesting "...

..so we stopped and went home.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Just a regular conversation
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jluke223
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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I can't recycle a broken window with regular glass bottles in my town.

It's a pane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterburk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Why is a pregnant horse faster than a regular horse?

Because the pregnant one has two horsepower.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/all_joking_aside
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Carpenter ants are just like regular ants.

Except rainy days and Mondays always get them down.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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Why is buffalo chicken more expensive than regular chicken?

Because buffalo chicken is harder to catch.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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What did Daryl say to Greg when four regular folks descend from a UFO?

I never expected to see pair a normal beings when I started studying alien aircraft, you follow, G?

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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My dentist asked if I flossed regularly

I said yes, you do it twice a year.

Thank you I’ll see myself out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eclectic211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I recently got a hen to regularly count her eggs

She's a real mathemachicken!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cokedupbunny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Like a good Grandpa I share with my 12 yr old Grandson the amazement of r/dadjokes regularly. He thinks you all are totally cool. I told him there is much power here. How? He asked. Let me demonstrate... With the diahrrea song.. I'll start.

Some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast. Diahrrea...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tekprojekt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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"Have you ready any of Dante's books?" I asked my friend.

"Inferno," he replied.

"OK," I added, "what about just in regular clothes?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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Outdad my dad with this one. He messaged me today that our dog ate a packet of corn chips. I replied..

...Soon we are going to have poop corn.

And added that we might have a cereal killer living in our house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DitMasterGoGo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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From his greeting me, I guess I am a regular at my dentist...

He always says, "you know the drill!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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I travel all over the world and I'm regular, then I come home and suddenly I'm incontinent.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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I had a game of quiet tennis today.

It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Why are the regular soldier ants the largest in their species?

Because they are G-I-ants

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sq009
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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I asked the chef for butter for my naan and he gave me regular old butter. I went back and said, "hey, I may not look Indian, but I really wanted ghee." He told me rather rudely, "Well, next time you should clarify that."

I told him, "well, this time, you should."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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How long is a light-year?

It is the same length as a regular year, but it has less calories!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M47TH3W99
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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I recently got a new job!

A little bit of Background information:Β  When I was a young lad, my father was a professional glass cleaner.Β Β  Not just for a job, cleaning Glass was this man's passion!Β  He always wanted me to take over for him when I grew up, but I always thought it would be a pain, it was a silly job, really.Β Β  However, I knew that my father would be shattered if I didn't put an honest effort into the cleaning business.Β Β Β  The first time I perfectly cleaned a mirror, I realized I could really see myself doing this!Β Β  My father was wiping away tears of pride when I began to become as passionate as he was.

Anyways, fast forward to a couple months ago.Β Β  I have taken over my father's cleaning company, and was working a job at a publishing agency.Β  Now, due to the pandemic, this building had set up different entry points depending on the purpose of your visit, and each one was gated and stationed by an employee so you could have your temperature taken and go through a checklist to ensure you don't have any symptoms, etc.

After finishing the contract at this building, the owner was so impressed with my work that he said he would like to recommend me for a permanent job with a friend of his.Β Β  At first, I was skeptical (I had taken over the family business, after all), but it was becoming difficult to find regular clients anymore, so I agreed.Β Β Β  He gave me a single sheet from a notepad, and told me to write down something about myself that sets me apart from others in my line of work, and I should make it a very impactful statement,Β  his friend was a very busy man and wouldn't look at more than notes like these.Β Β Β  I wasn't sure what to write on the spot, so he told me to think about it, and return the note when I come back to leave the bill for my work.

So I came back a few days later, went through the gate to drop off my bill and my note about how I am much better than any other glass cleaner out there.Β Β Β  Well, it turns out the friend of the publishing agency's owner was a hiring manager for a well-known computer company, and my note really caught his eye, and I was offered the job!Β Β  Now I make more money every two weeks than I had with a month!Β Β  At first, I though my father would be upset by me leaving the family business behind, but he told me "As long as you are happy where you are, with what you are doing, then you are succeeding in life.Β  You are no longer a student of glass cleaning, you are my equal, and I am proud of you"Β  I never realized how freeing it

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/terjulmar
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Me: Omg there's a wolf!

Wife: Where?

Me: No, the regular kind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WardensLantern
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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I can’t believe it’s not...
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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What do you call a regular backpack in a skydiver’s plane?

A perish-ute

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Due to the state of quarantine i wont be posting regular jokes

Itll be only inside jokes from now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CornLuck
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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The local dragon regularly poops hundreds of pounds of ore directly into the sea.

It's a gross waste of resources.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Impybutt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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More of a dad joke than a regular joke /r/Jokes/comments/h7gql4/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keywordnatt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Regular Delivery!

My job is transporting envelopes and packages from place to place, but I'm not sure I want to make it a courier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Why do people wear shamrocks on St Patrick’s day?

Regular rocks are too heavy.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fredwardofox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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A door to door salesman knocked on my door and before I could say anything he said, "A person's regular occupation, profession, or trade..."

Just from the first sentence, I knew he meant business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Prototype273
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?

A common tater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LEGOF
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Are Hummingbirds just regular birds...

that can't remember the lyrics?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Why is sign language more effective than regular speech?

Because actions speak louder than words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GassyGhoul88
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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When you work with computers, you should regularly check their storage management.

It's pretty easy and it won't hurt one bit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KevinK15
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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So regular bees make honey, but what type of bees make milk?

Boo-bees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToniofhouseStark
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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What do you call a teenager who regularly thickens sauces?

A roux teen.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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My girlfriend thought it would be funny to replace my medicated shampoo with regular shampoo. I tried to understand why it was funny, but

the joke just left me scratching my head.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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Whenever my dad goes to get gas he says β€œregular please” and when the gas station attendant (we live in Oregon) asks β€œfill?” my dad replies

β€œNo, Fred, nice to meet you”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDreidel82
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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What's the difference between a dad joke and a regular joke?

It's apparent.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/javajudicial
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
When is a dad joke considered a dad joke and not just a regular joke?

When it becomes apparent.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/repostssleuthbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
When does a regular joke become a dad joke.

When the punchline becomes apparent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jolly2284
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
When does a regular joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zero_kay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report

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