Wording Puns

But no matter how you slice it, it’s still cheesy, regardless of the delivery.

1. Always
2. Coming
3. From
4. Take
5. Me
6. Down

Smiles. Because there's a mile between the two s.

Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.

Or should I split them apart?

It's very easily cracked.

I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French...

Until I fell into a printing press.

Head lice.

Ath-l33t.

So, I gave her 2 pictures.

Golf.

Football, chocolate... I dunno, lots of things don't rhyme with "itself".

which I think is poor for four.

Butt willy?

She said go ahead.

I stood up said “plethora” and sat back down.

“Thank you”, the grieving widow responded, “it means a lot”

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Short.

If anyone asks, you've not seen us.

Bill Gates

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

I can’t tell you how angry I am at this.

I'll see myself out.

Try this : I licked a golf club and it tasted irony.

Smiles. The first and last letters are a mile apart.

I dont know it, but I thought umaido

The hills have 'i's.

"Abracadaver!"

It's not stroganoff

It’s not stroganoff

Plagiarism.

....but the definition is unclear.

Because it means, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that”

Student: Mike Tyson eaths oaths for breakfasth every morning

Edit: made this up today, have merthy on my thoul

She said “congrats!”

I replied “thanks, it means a lot”

that it's under "lined" in the dictionary.

However.

Four.

I said to the English teacher.

It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.

Or should I spread them apart?

Or should I spread them apart

I can't tell you how angry I am.