Why did Mr and Mrs Barnacle go to couples' counselling?

Because thier marriage was the rocks.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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I had a marriage counselling session with my wife and we were prescribed Marital Arts classes, after which our relation became more violent...

I'm starting to think the therapist didn't make a spelling mistake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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A couple is in marriage counseling and the wife tells the therapist that the husband never buys her flowers...

The husband says that he didn’t know she sold flowers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCVeteran69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Medusa goes to marriage counseling
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πŸ‘€︎ u/journeyman369
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
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I needed a lawyer, so a friend referred me to his legal counsel. But I'm having a really hard time getting in touch with the guy.

A. Goodman is hard to find.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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[Request] Can anyone please help me come up with a business name that is a Bob's Burgers-level pun?

The neighboring store front and exterminator van in the opening credits have the best punny business names and always crack me up. I'm a fan and would love to name my business in a similar fashion. ETA Examples: I'd Hit That Boxing Gym. Lady and the Clamp, Hardware for Her. A Fridge Too Far. Cupid's Stupid, Divorce Attorneys. A Ton in the Oven, Big and Tall Baby Clothes. Let's Scissor! Collage Studio. Don't Stop Bereaving, Grief Counseling.

But I am So. Stuck.

A little background about my business idea: I'm a personal/sometimes virtual assistant specializing in household admin and management. I'm marketing mostly towards blue collar men who might be widows/divorcees who never had to worry about the general finances and household paperwork. Some of the services offered are: budget setting, bill paying, appointment setting/calendar management, travel arrangements, errands, personal & grocery shopping, pet & house sitting, etc...

I'm ready to take the next steps in making this an actual business and take out some ad space, but the perfectionist in me NEEDS a brilliant name. Can someone please help me? The best I can come up with is some sort of play on Pepper Potts, but I see quite a few VAs out there with that as a business name. I will gift a platinum to the one I like the best if that's appropriate.

Thank you in advance! πŸ”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmElleGee31
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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My son asked me this morning why the Cheerios boxes are so corny.

I said β€œthey’re not, they’re oatey.”

(This is a factual account of a real life event. Please send donations for children’s counseling.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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Where did the Dock go for advice?

Pier counseling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gigler198
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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I cracked my skull on a bookcase today.

It was an accident, but when a relative saw the bump she tried to counsel me about shelf harm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeckerPagoda
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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I was playing princesses with my daughters...

Until my 3 year old told me that I could no longer be a princess. I asked her why and she said she was taking it back. I said she can't take my title of Princess. She took it anyway.

I told her I was going to seek Regal Counsel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jewbacca331
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Dad jokes galore: Candy company settles with mid-Missouri man over underfilled boxes

A settlement has been reached in one of the sweetest lawsuits ever to be filed in federal court, but details of the payday are under wrappers.

Daryl White Jr. of Belle, Missouri, didn’t sugar coat his anger about paying a dollar apiece for boxes of Mike and Ikes and Hot Tamales that were only two-thirds full. Determined not to be a sucker, he hired counsel and paid the U.S. District Court Western District of Missouri a $400 filing fee to sue Just Born Inc., the candymaker’s parent company, for alleged deceptive advertising and unjust enrichment.

SOURCE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/missourijake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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A turkey flew through the window where my wife used to work

I told my wife about a recent story in /r/TalesFromTechSupport about a late-night alarm going off at work. She told me that at one of her previous employers, a turkey had flown through a window.

Her: I knew about it because I worked for the general counsel and she had to know about it.
Me: In case the turkey tried to sue?
Her: In case it was fowl play.

You may also enjoy A Previous Dialogue with My Wife

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfofurn
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2018
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The production staff of Car Talk at NPR
  • Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs

  • Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov

  • Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide

  • Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore

  • Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

  • Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood

  • Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass

  • Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout

  • Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder

  • Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing

  • Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors

  • Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz

  • Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff

  • Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer

  • Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket

  • Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales

  • Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz

  • Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz

  • Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive

  • Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall

  • Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov

  • Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods

  • Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy

  • Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling

  • Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot

Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IcedPyro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2016
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