I have an idea for a math tutoring service.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxcellane0us
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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My British friend has started getting his son private tutoring

I can't imagine how much money he must be shilling out.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/creeper321448
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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I’m going to open a math tutoring business.

I’ll name it Limited Addition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Entree_The_Giant
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Tutoring a family friend's son

I tutor geometry to a 14 year old in high school and he was nervous about his upcoming test so I asked him:

"Do you know what the bravest shape is, one that is relentless?"

"I don't know what?"

"The try-angle."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2016
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Why did the pair of glasses get a job as a math tutor?

Because they help with division.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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What do you call an arithmetic tutor?

A math dealer.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?

He was a private tutor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tckoppang
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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My son needed a history tutor, so I handed him some cereal and a scale

β€œTime to learn about Chex and balances”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleIroh_MD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Looking for a Math Tutor?

Call 1-800-[(10x)(ln(13e))]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What do you call a teacher that would never break wind in public?

A private tutor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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What do you call a tutor that sleeps with their students?

A prostitutor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisPear12
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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What did the tutor call the 4th year art student's work?

A masterpiece

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExterminatorRex
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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I always tell the students I tutor Dad Jokes. A 1st grader tried to tell one of his own today...

Again....this is from a 1st grader...

Knock knock

Who's there

A panda Bear

A panda bear who?

No, you're supposed to say What Panda Bear...

Ok What panda bear?

Umm......a tiger?

Not a dad joke...but I laughed anyway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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My son’s hot English tutor wanted to teach him how to write an essay... He told her let’s skip the introductions.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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I had to fire my Christian guitar tutor. He was too religious. I wanted to learn guitar, but all he kept talking about was

G-sus

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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I was having some trouble farting, so I hired a tutor.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajd011394
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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What do you call someone who doesn’t fart in public?

A private tutor

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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How does someone learn to pass gas?

Through extensive and persistent tootelage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbstryker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Why do basic white girls make terrible math tutors?

Because they literally can't even.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RegrettableDeed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
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Who runs the school for potatoes?

The Headmashter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Porkpenknife
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Got dadjoked by a kindergartner I tutor. They start so young.

I'm a private French tutor for a family in my area, and one of the kids is a little girl in kindergarten. Their family is big on tea so she was trying to pour her tea herself before the lesson started. But kindergartners spill everything, so I helped her pour it.

"Good teamwork!" - me

"More like tea-work." -her

I've never been more proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatAperture
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2016
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Dadjoked my tutor pretty good

I've been sick for a while and at this time my voice went very croaky.

Him: Are you sure you're okay? Your voice sounds a pretty hoarse.

Me: Neigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/take-a-step-back
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
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Tutor dadjoked me today

Him: "A dog and a piecost have a race. Who wins?"

Me: "What's a piecost?"

Him: "About 6 bucks."

Me: GROOOOOAAAAN

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edogman9955
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2014
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The legend of the tutor mice

So, let's see that report card. Hmmm. Not so great this term, eh? Maybe you should have bought some tutor mice.

What are tutor mice? You never heard of tutor mice? No wonder. There's this elf, see, and he trains mice to teach kids different subjects. You buy one mouse for math, another for English, and so on. Each mouse you buy is a guaranteed A.

And the best thing is, this elf doesn't have a shop or anything. He comes to you. All you have to do is sing the song.

What do you mean what song. Everybody knows the song. You just have to sing it like you really mean it, and he'll pop up and sell you some mice. Like this:

β™«I'LL BUY MICE, E-E-ELF...β™«

β™«DON'T WANNA 'B'!β™«

β™«I'LL BUY MICE, ELF!β™«

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrettyDecentSort
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2014
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Posted by a math tutor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbusedPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2014
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My mom tutors a kid named cole...

Mom: cole rocks Dad: coal isnt a rock, honey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yungun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
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Dadjoked by my tutor.

Me upon getting out my phone to add a new contact for his number: "How do I create a new person in here?" Tutor: "Well I could tell you, but I think we should save the 'bird and the bees' talk for later."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cavemandark
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
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A joke for tutors and professors

My students are allot like pirates

Why?

Because they live out at C.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeBE11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
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Dad joked the 7 year old I tutor

Tutoring a 7 year old from Africa and he was doing his math homework. He was supposed to draw squares to cover a rectangle and then write down how many squares it took. I asked him how many it took. He responded with "All of them".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBoone2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2014
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One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet

He was a Tudor tooter tutor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargingTiger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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My girlfriend had to fart while we were watching a movie but felt too embarrassed

GF: It hurts to hold it in and it's making my stomach feel bad.
Me: It's ok, you can fart in front of me. When you feel it coming, let it out slowly so it doesn't make a noise and sit directly on your butt so you'll trap it in and it won't smell.
GF: Wow, I didn't know you were my "Fart Teacher."
Me: I prefer "tutor."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Memer04
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2014
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True story from a student of mine:

I was tutoring ACT English yesterday when this exchange happened:

"What's a colon used for?"

"Pooping."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthEwok42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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What do you call a person who teaches others how to fart?

A Tutor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zionspencermusic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Say you call a man from Tooting, a Tooter.

The term for farting often is to "toot", and his profession is a tutor.

So, if this man from Tooting is farting at work... you can say that a Tooter is tooting in Tooting whilst tutoring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/faisaltreshah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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My son said he would teach me how to fart

He is going to be my tutor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afternoondump
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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Dirty biology dadjoke.

So while tutoring a Biology study group, (mind you, they are 18-20 year old guys and ladies I'm 24 and married) I was explaining a hard concept to the group, and a girl exclaimed: "Jesusdo, you're hard!" Because apparently I wasn't making too much sense...I responded with: "Thanks, but I prefer to receive that compliment from my wife though" That girl's face went redder than a tomato the same with everyone else's and much laughter was had. :)

Edit: autocorrect messed up my username.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jesusdo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2014
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Why did the teacher never fart in public?

He was a private tutor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinBender
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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What do you call a teacher that farts in the closet?

Private Tutor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stripedpixel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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What do you call a teacher who doesn’t fart in public?

A private tutor

πŸ‘︎ 653
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stupid_Rawr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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My teacher never farts in public.

Since, she is a private tutor, of course.

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bignate1213
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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What do you call a person who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FannySchrute
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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What do you call a man who doesn’t fart in public?

A private tutor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dredgemate
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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My piano teacher never farted in public.

He was a private tutor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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Who teaches you how to fart?

A tutor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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What do you call a teacher who doesn't fart in public?

A private tutor

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesconer
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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What do you call a Teacher who does not fart in public?

A Private Tutor

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cobra_k
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
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What do you call someone who never farts in public?

A private tutor

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxyGramps
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
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What do you call a man who never tutes in public?

A private tutor

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJR1000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2017
🚨︎ report

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