I can't imagine how much money he must be shilling out.
I’ll name it Limited Addition.
I tutor geometry to a 14 year old in high school and he was nervous about his upcoming test so I asked him:
"Do you know what the bravest shape is, one that is relentless?"
"I don't know what?"
"The try-angle."
Because they help with division.
A math dealer.
“Time to learn about Chex and balances”
Call 1-800-[(10x)(ln(13e))]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]
A private tutor
A prostitutor
A masterpiece
Again....this is from a 1st grader...
Knock knock
Who's there
A panda Bear
A panda bear who?
No, you're supposed to say What Panda Bear...
Ok What panda bear?
Umm......a tiger?
Not a dad joke...but I laughed anyway
A private tutor
G-sus
Through extensive and persistent tootelage.
The Headmashter.
Because they literally can't even.
I'm a private French tutor for a family in my area, and one of the kids is a little girl in kindergarten. Their family is big on tea so she was trying to pour her tea herself before the lesson started. But kindergartners spill everything, so I helped her pour it.
"Good teamwork!" - me
"More like tea-work." -her
I've never been more proud.
I've been sick for a while and at this time my voice went very croaky.
Him: Are you sure you're okay? Your voice sounds a pretty hoarse.
Me: Neigh
Him: "A dog and a piecost have a race. Who wins?"
Me: "What's a piecost?"
Him: "About 6 bucks."
Me: GROOOOOAAAAN
So, let's see that report card. Hmmm. Not so great this term, eh? Maybe you should have bought some tutor mice.
What are tutor mice? You never heard of tutor mice? No wonder. There's this elf, see, and he trains mice to teach kids different subjects. You buy one mouse for math, another for English, and so on. Each mouse you buy is a guaranteed A.
And the best thing is, this elf doesn't have a shop or anything. He comes to you. All you have to do is sing the song.
What do you mean what song. Everybody knows the song. You just have to sing it like you really mean it, and he'll pop up and sell you some mice. Like this:
♫I'LL BUY MICE, E-E-ELF...♫
♫DON'T WANNA 'B'!♫
♫I'LL BUY MICE, ELF!♫
Mom: cole rocks Dad: coal isnt a rock, honey.
Me upon getting out my phone to add a new contact for his number: "How do I create a new person in here?" Tutor: "Well I could tell you, but I think we should save the 'bird and the bees' talk for later."
My students are allot like pirates
Why?
Because they live out at C.
Tutoring a 7 year old from Africa and he was doing his math homework. He was supposed to draw squares to cover a rectangle and then write down how many squares it took. I asked him how many it took. He responded with "All of them".
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
I was tutoring ACT English yesterday when this exchange happened:
"What's a colon used for?"
"Pooping."
GF: It hurts to hold it in and it's making my stomach feel bad.
Me: It's ok, you can fart in front of me. When you feel it coming, let it out slowly so it doesn't make a noise and sit directly on your butt so you'll trap it in and it won't smell.
GF: Wow, I didn't know you were my "Fart Teacher."
Me: I prefer "tutor."
A Tutor
He is going to be my tutor.
The term for farting often is to "toot", and his profession is a tutor.
So, if this man from Tooting is farting at work... you can say that a Tooter is tooting in Tooting whilst tutoring.
So while tutoring a Biology study group, (mind you, they are 18-20 year old guys and ladies I'm 24 and married) I was explaining a hard concept to the group, and a girl exclaimed: "Jesusdo, you're hard!" Because apparently I wasn't making too much sense...I responded with: "Thanks, but I prefer to receive that compliment from my wife though" That girl's face went redder than a tomato the same with everyone else's and much laughter was had. :)
Edit: autocorrect messed up my username.
The tutors
He was a private tutor.
Private Tutor
A private tutor
Since, she is a private tutor, of course.
A private tutor.
He was a private tutor.
A private tutor.
A private tutor
A Private Tutor
A private tutor
