I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local garden centre.

I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Why did the recycling centre turn away Don Corleone?

They were made an offer they couldn't reuse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaimesBond
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I don't like how shopping centres are so similar..

You see one, you've seen a mall.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbuSarlihah
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Had to quit my job at the muffler centre

Too exhausting

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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Why can't Jesus play centre-back?

He's not too good at dealing with crosses.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Tough day at the muffle centre today...

... you might say it was exhausting πŸ’¨

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Why did the new disability centre hire a repairman?

To fix the blinds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakeVader
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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Old terminology mixed with a new German shopping centre =
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buddiebird
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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When they use prisoners to operate call centres.....

..do they use cell phones?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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My first job was at a shoe recycling centre.

It was sole destroying.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angry_Daniel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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Garden centre embracing both Christmas and Puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NobleMoistHam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
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*Passes town cemetery* β€œWell, it looks like we’ve reached the dead centre of town”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zac_george
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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It’s Halloween season, and I saw Snow White working at the shoe store in our local shopping centre.

She is the fairest of the mall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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There was a clothing art exhibit in my town's shopping centre. Someone made a pyramid of jeans. Pure artistic jean-ious if you ask me.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paskill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2013
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I used to work at a circumcision centre...

The pay was meagre but the tips were great.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Supersteel12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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I was at the garden centre the other day. I said, "Can I have three chairs for my patio please?"

He said, "Why, what's so special about it?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StinkyWeezle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
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Why did little billy get sad at the tin can recycling centre?

It was soda-pressing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charcocoa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
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I work in a call centre...

Basically people ring in and complain about certain items they bought. This one guy rang in and was ranting about how disgusting his bananas were. The conversation went like this...

Him: Yea this is ridiculous, if I had've known when I bought them that they were this disgusting I'd never have got them at all

Me: Why, what exactly is wrong with them?

Him: They all black, and bruised. They look like they've been sitting on the shelves a while. They're horrible , they're just very...(3 second pause trying to think of the word to say)...very....

Me: Unapeeling?

Him: ... groan

Me: Sir?..

Call ended

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenLava95
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
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Found this beauty in the shopping centre

http://i.imgur.com/K9AvDnz.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mehta23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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Centre of town

My boyfriend and I were walking through town and as we were walking past a cemetery he turned to me and said... Him:"Do you know what that is?" Me: "What?" Him:"The dead centre of town."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bindi_irwan_fan01
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2015
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Once you've seen one shopping centre...

... you've seen the mall

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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I'm tired of going to shopping centres.

You've seen one, you've seen a mall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DjangoVanTango
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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Once you've seen one shopping centre,

you've seen a mall

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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Once you've seen a shopping centre..

You've seen a mall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tilleuno
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2017
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