What are ducks favourite t.v. programmes ?
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︎ Mar 03 2021
Our local flying school is trialling a new programme to teach blind people how to fly.
Canβt see it taking off
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︎ Jul 05 2020
I've heard they just launched the new reptilian-focused aid programme.
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︎ Aug 21 2020
I watched a TV programme about the House of Lords last week. But I wasnβt really concentrating so Iβm going to have to watch it again.
Thatβll be the Peer review.
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︎ Jul 08 2020
What do you call a programme where you watch some very skilled dogs sleeping?
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︎ Mar 21 2020
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam programme I've ever seen.
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︎ May 22 2019
They say that getting married as a women is like being put on a witness protection programme
The bride gets a new name and a dress.
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︎ Feb 05 2017
Why did the aspiring programmer buy a pair of glasses?
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Why are programmers so good at dancing?
They have great algorithm.
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︎ Apr 05 2021
Which way did the programmer go?
π︎ 24
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
My programmer husband insists he has to be the one to change the channel
He has a lot experience working remote
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Old programmers never die
They just don't C as well.
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︎ Jan 25 2021
I used to work as a programmer for autocorrect....
Then they fried me for no raisin.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
What do NASA programmers do on the weekends?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
What do you call a snake that's 3.14 feet long?
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︎ Feb 04 2021
If a programmer could rearrange the alphabet, they'd put U and I together.
User Interface is important to them.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Said by a sick computer programmer
"I'm just coughing and hacking."
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︎ Oct 16 2020
A programmer's wife tells him: "While you're at the store, get some milk".
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︎ Jul 20 2020
What does a programmer's ghost say?
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Why did the programmer quit his job?
because he didn't get arrays.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Why does programmers have perfect vision?
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︎ Jul 02 2020
Why did the programmer leave his job ?
Because he couldnβt hack it.
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︎ Jul 25 2020
A programmer gets sent to the store by his wife. His wife says, βGet a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.β
The programmer returns home with 12 gallons of milk and says, βThey had eggs.β
edit: I know guys, I know, itβs supposed to be 13, I messed up the wording, please forgive me
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︎ Oct 30 2018
Why couldn't the programmer dance to the song?
Because he didn't get the... algo-rhythm...
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︎ Jul 05 2020
What do programmers do when they're hungry?
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 08 2020
What was the SNES programmers' favorite drink?
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Children with only a mother make horrible programmers
Theres always missing paren
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︎ Jul 01 2020
As a programmer, waking up is the 0th thing I do every morning
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︎ Nov 15 2018
How does the computer programmer order all her books?
By the Dewey Hexadecimal System!
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︎ Aug 03 2020
How does a programmer get cooler in the summer?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 19 2020
What you call it when computer programmers make fun of each other?
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︎ Apr 22 2020
Programmers hate roman numerals.
But I can't zero in on why
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︎ Feb 18 2020
I am now a succesful programmer
But back in the days I was a noobgrammer
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︎ Apr 11 2020
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25
For non-programmers: (octal 31 = decimal 25)
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︎ Dec 24 2019
What do spanish programmers code in?
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︎ Nov 02 2018
Why did the programmer get a huge telephone bill?
Because his program was CALLING a lot of subroutines.
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︎ Dec 15 2019
Scientists and programmers have gotten together to write computer code that will not only warn of future global warming but also take credit for inventing the internet.
It's an new Al-Gore-rithm
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︎ Nov 23 2019
I've been hiding from doing any exercising.
I'm in the 'Fitness Protection Programme '
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Why do programmers wear glasses?
π︎ 2k
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︎ Dec 31 2016
What do programmers and exterminators have in common?
They both spend most of their time fighting bugs.
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︎ Nov 05 2018
Why did the C++ programmer do so well at his new job as a packaging and design engineer?
Because he was very good at orienting objects.
(Okay this is a really technical dad joke, but isn't that what they're supposed to be?)
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︎ Dec 29 2018
I saw a programme on beavers
It was the best dam documentary I ever saw!
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 20 2018
Why do programmers like dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs
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︎ Apr 29 2020
My friend quit his job as a programmer...
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︎ Apr 21 2020
Programmers hate roman numerals.
But I can't zero in on why?
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 18 2020
Which way did the programmer go?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 19 2020
Which way did the programmer go?
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︎ Sep 21 2019
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