What kind of crisp favour really took off?

The plane flavor!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwatBadgerExpress
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Dad: Do me a favour and pass up the hammerfor

Kid: What's a hammerfor?

Dad: Hammering, you fool.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hanumanjizzfest
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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What do you say to a jedi who you do a favour for?

You Owe Me One, Kenobi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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Hey dude, can I ask you a favour?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FazeTheo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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Whenever my friend Stephen asks me to do him a favour, I always respond the same way.

I say, β€œYou’re not my real hen!”, and then walk away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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The odds were in my favour
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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[Request] puns about dice (for wedding favours)

Our wedding is next weekend, and we are giving out personalized dice as our favours. We thought "thank you for coming" was a little too bland, and we'd like to spice it up with a dice pun. Any pun suggestions that also tie into the cutesy wedding/romantic setting? So far I've found "we make a great pair" and a lot of puns around the word "dicey", but I'm hoping you fine folks can help us out.

Edit: We are huge gamers which is why we went with the dice. This isn't a Vegas wedding or anything similar, so jackpot related jokes aren't quite what we're looking for. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirstybobirsty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2017
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My brother spun me so fast on the merry-go-round I got too dizzy to return the favour

#FirstWhirledProblems

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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What do you call someone who argues in favour of the Greek god of the sun, poetry, medicine, and prophecy?

An Apollo-jist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theEluminator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2017
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I'm in favour of breastfeeding in public...

It's just hard to find a woman willing to feed me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eternal42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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"Do me a favour" said my mate.

So I insulated his loft.

He was dead chuffed.

"Bugger me with a stick" he said.

Now the ungrateful bastard is in hospital and refuses to speak to me.

You can't win.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/csyrett
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
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I asked a friend for a small favour.

So I asked a friend to bid a little bit on stuff I have on ebay. He didn't have much time and asked me for a favour instead, so I did that for him with the concluding words: "And now you do my bidding."

I patted myself on the shoulder after that.

Edit: Grammar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeisterEder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2014
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"All in favour of a horse president say Yea"

silence

"All who oppose say Nay"

"Horse county has been without a leader for…"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jakovasaurr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
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I just wanted a favour!

"Dad, will you please make me a sandwich?"

"POOF! You're a sandwich!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sykas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2013
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Settle a pun debate

I asked two friends for the best pun Bond would utter if he'd just shoved a bad guy into a huge industrial deep-fat fryer. Their responses were:

Friend #1: "Play with fryer, get burnt.
(Isn't there an old saying of don't play with fire unless you want to get burnt?)"

Friend #2: "Why is my instinct to say cool off there?
Let's assume it's christmas. 'Thats a real Crisped Kringle' is what I'd say
Or do I know the guy's dad? Let's say I do. 'Youre a chip of the old block'"

I know, I need new friends. Do me a favour redditors and please tell me whose pun is least awful? And if you have any better ones, I'm all ears! (Mine was "Thank God it's fry day", I'm sure you can all do better).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/creaky_thumbs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Apple's answer to Google Glass: iPatch...

... Pirates favour the iEye though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nimja_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
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Never bribe someone with Indian food.

You could be accused of currying favour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaldrickD2M
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:

I want to wreck ya vic!

Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?

Coz He'll sinky

What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?

Their Brunei

Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.

Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.

I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"

The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin

Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!

The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important

The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.

A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.

What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car

Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you

They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo

People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me

Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera

Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there

I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm

If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoghead
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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A British and American walk into a bar

The British man says "You need to do us all a favour and honour people of colour". The American says "No U".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warmachine237
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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If you're an antipasti advocate

Are you in favour of entrΓ©es or against pasta?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foreliah
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
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