A list of puns related to "Advice"
The best way to save face is to keep the lower half of it closed.
Those who seek to get even only end up at greater odds.
Those who sling mud end up only losing ground.
Want a bouncier water bed? Just fill it with spring water.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
Keep your dreams alive -- quickly hit the snooze button.
Don't worry about the bird flu too much -- it's tweetable.
He’s my spirit guide.
Edit: Thanks guys.
I said, "well, speak of the devil!"
The Trolling Stones
'I wish I'd listened to my mother' Why? What did she say? Dunno, I wasn't listening
“Stop going to those places!”
Because that would be
Now, I can't log out.
Take it slow.
They always reply by saying, "I wood".
Because they live under the rock.
He said, “I’ve told you a million times, money doesn’t glow on Tees.”
They are a bunch of neigh sayers.
Persons in their household should watch their steps, particularly early risers.
My wife is all ears
Just keep running until you’re all pooped out.
That way, your search cannot be fruitless.
Keep your friends close and your anenomes closer
Saved you a klick.
Then I realised belts can't talk
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
He said "It's worth spending money on a good set of speakers."
"Don't forget to tip your server."
I gave him my two cents.
They are just big raisins.
I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...
PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?
Me just now to the my kids:
“Make sure you brush all of them [teeth]. I mean it. Front, back, top, bottom, inside, outside, up up, down down, left right, left right, B, A, B, A, select start!”
When you wash your hands, make sure every area is COVID.
He tells his friend, “I’ve been having issues with my coworker and no matter how much I yell at him he just won’t change!”
“Woah there,” his friend says. “No need to yell at him, I think you just need to get to the heart of the problem and figure it out from there.”
The man agrees and leaves. Later on the news, his friend sees that a someone from his friends place of work was murdered. Soon after, his friend appears at his door.
“Ok so I got his heart, what do I do now?”
How do I deal with someone who is being so incense-ative?
It's the tip of the iceberg (courtesy of my dad).
He died of old adage...
My buddy has a bad back so I often go over his house to help his wife with yard work or moving furniture, etc. Currently, were all home because of the quarantine so it seems like the perfect time to get some things done.
Well, I've been isolated for a week and I have no reason to think I've been exposed, but I was a little anxious cause I have had a bit of a scratchy throat these past two days.
So I asked my priest if he thought it was okay to go over and help my buddy's wife with some yard work.
He replied, "do not covid your neighbors wife."