Not to brag, but I have this uncanny ability of guessing what’s inside a wrapped present.
You can say.....it’s a gift.
I'm guessing she was eggselent at counting.
https://preview.redd.it/vzqq0rjck4l31.png?width=703&format=png&auto=webp&s=5ad29bbb0a2b1351b83a74828286f10ae7cb0586
Someone told me I'm always second guessing myself. I don't do that.
Better call the bullpen if you need help guessing this pun
The other day I was second guessing my decision to book time to visit a Native American community...
It was a reservation reservation reservation.
Dad was talking about guessing weight...
He said he's so good at it because he was born in a time before scales - even fish were naked.
I'm guessing Costco is the origin of many dadjokes
My wife just received this email from her dad.
http://imgur.com/UA3kgN1
Guessing my 60 year old dad wants some tits
Dad: well, what do you wanna do? Wanna do something?
Mom: i don't know, not much to do.
Dad: yeah I might go take a walk in the woods.
Mom: yeah? And get ticks?
Dad: Tits? I'd be glad to get some tits
Mom: groan
Oh damn guess I get to keep my tip
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?
I'll just get new ones I guess
Denty Moore...or I guess Less
I like to watch People play games online. Guess that makes me a "Streaming fan"
And you can guess the reason why.
[OC] Guess the Visual Pun
I Guess the Steaks are High When You Drive Down This Road
I was told I second guess myself too much..
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's...
Man sitting with woman i guess
Guess they will not be there for me in the pool
I guess you could say this cat is... Cathletic:)
I bought this book but had to return it for all the fowl language
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
The smurf really messed up I guess you could say
I guess video games did cause violence
Guess, I'll have to buy a new one
Guess the letters after D and Y.
I guess you could say he’s a...... screw driver
I guess I know why you shouldn't tell a kleptomaniac a pun.
They always take things literally.
I guess my dad started a mushroom company and didn't tell me.
Guess that’s maths for ya
He's always been a stud, but I guess that wasn't enough for himshelf
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I’m not big enough or strong enough
I’ve just handed in my Too weak notice.
“Nation’s Geologists demand more money for Marijuana research” I guess those geologists are a bunch of Stoners.
I decided to grow out a quarantine beard. I'm not really sure why, I guess I just had a wild hair.
I didn't really like it at first, but I have to say it's really grown on me.
If a Youtuber collabs with another Youtuber than I guess you could call the video a...
I can't seem to grow oats or barley, or spelt in the mountains where I live. I guess it's true what they say...
I made the world's largest dumpling. Guess how much it weighs?
I don't think it worked out
My massage therapist got fired...
I guess she rubbed too many people the wrong way.
I used to be in a band called "The Hinges"
Ever since the pandemic started, every morning I proudly announce to my family that I’m going for a jog and then I don’t...
It’s my longest running joke of the year so far...
I guess I'm the mom now...
My wife was doing a crossword puzzle and one of the answers was Michael Pena.
I said,"who the hell is Michael Pena?"
She said, "Sub's brother"
"Who the hell is Sub?"
".... Sub Pena?"
Happy mothers day everyone.
You'll never guess where my pet duck was sitting
Guess what fruit hit me in the back.
I started listening to Metallica a few days ago, and guess what.
Nothing else matters anymore. Sad, but true.
My maths teacher started throwing wordplay in calculus problems, I guess it is
A problem of Ex-pun-ential order
This is another step towards greatness
My therapist tells me I always second guess myself
A hammerhead shark made from hammer heads
"Hey, I'm Bill." "Well! I'm Bill as well." "Then I guess we are the Bills."
"Hmm. Then who's gonna pay us?"
That's just pretty hard to guess
What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
I have to tell someone about this because I'm at home alone with my 2 year old and 11 month old, and they're to young to understand my best dad joke ever.
My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!
Selling bread that isn’t fully cooked
Is a half baked idea that really took off.
Me to my daughter in regards to the gyms closing: "Guess I won't be flattening this curve." (As I pat my belly)
She rolled her eyes and sighed.
If he won't talk I guess it's just a stairing contest
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
guess you could call her a missile because she really homed in on her target
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
Guess he’ll B♭out of luck come band class
I guess spring is one the way... birds singing, animals emerging from winter dens, trees budding with potential...
What superhero gets hurt the easiest?
My daughter had to stick her hand in a sack to try to guess the type of material by touch...
My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.
I guess.... we are raised differently.
I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible.
I guess that makes me an eighth-theist.
My therapist says that I second guess every decision that I ever make.
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
What do you call a drawing of a sick person?
Due to the Covid crisis, the Indian bakery in my neighborhood is going through some tough times.
They fired all Naan essential staff.
British people be like: I'm bri ish
When you make unintended puns in another subreddit. So I guess they were intended after all.
[0C] Guess the Visual Pun
No one in Antarctica has COVID-19
It's because they are ice-o-lated.
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what’s inside a wrapped present.
You can say.... it’s a gift.
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what's inside a wrapped present.
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed
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