Grimaced Puns

Would he be the purple-trator?

It's all over town.

I'd be a millionhare

"Alright boss," says the man, "how are me teeth looking?"

The dentist grimaces. "You appear to have a huge hole in one tooth. I think we need to find out the root cause."

"Cavity?" asks the man.

"Indeed," says the dentist.

"Cheers guvnor, I take it with six sugars."

Bah Dah Bah Bah Bah...Im Glovin' It!

Me: What does Ronald McDonald do when he's angry?

Her: (sigh) What??

Me: He McGrrrrs

Her: (groan) please stop......

Me: Does that make you Grimace? (Chuckles)

Her: swift elbow to my ribs You tell me! * Sticks tongue out*

"There is nothing wrong with a good healthy imagination to help a child to develop and this is very common and nothing to worry about at all." said the psychiatrist.

I grimaced, "We haven't got a son."

Dropped this nugget on my 9 year old for the millionth time in the car. 20 minute drive home from baseball practice . Today, he turned the tables. "Hi Driving, I'm Son. Hi Frowning, I'm Son. Hi Grimacing, I'm Son. Hi Twitching, I'm Son." So proud right now. #dadwin

They keep it at about 18 degrees C here at work, so we give out a lot of warm blankets to patients.

The warmer ran out, and soon after, sure enough, a patient asked me for one.

So I said: "Sorry, we're all out. They're a hot commodity!"

They grimaced...but it could have been the cancer.

Answered the phone the other day...

"Hey man, what're you up to?"

Before I could stop it from coming out of my mouth

"Oh, about 5'9"

I grimaced at myself in the mirror. I suddenly hate being 30.

Our law fraternity, Phi Alpha Delta is hosting a luncheon with a panel of lawyers today. A friend and I in the frat were talking about what's on the menu, which neither of us knew. Finally, I just said "maybe they'll serve PAD Thai."

Her grimace and groan will fuel my afternoon.

In honor of my twins birthday today...My mathematically inclined daughter decided to memorize the first 50 numbers of Pi. After she recited them after only twenty minutes of memorizing I told her "I guess memorizing the digits in Pi is a piece of cake for you!." Got a good grimace for that.

So there I was in the process of helping him walk back to his room. During the walk I happen to look over and he is grimacing in pain with a look of disgust. As a worried healthcare provider, I ask him,

"Patient, you look like you're in pain, how do you feel"?

Without skipping a beat, he looks up into my eyes and with a trembling voice through the pain he replies..

"with my hands"

I was taken aback, not realizing what had just happened to me. He then smiled and startled to chuckle, and only then did I realize I had just been had by a dad and started to laugh myself.