I asked this guy if he was going to be hauling anytime soon. He grimaced and replied "I'm a freight-not."
๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/memesarepeople2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 03 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If Grimace from McDonald's was arrested...

Would he be the purple-trator?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Johnnybravo60025
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the Giant with diarrhea??

It's all over town.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VinnieAntonelli
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If I had a dollar for every time I saw that rabbit typo joke reposted here

I'd be a millionhare

๐Ÿ‘︎ 794
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mungerhall
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man with a cockney accent goes to the dentist.

"Alright boss," says the man, "how are me teeth looking?"

The dentist grimaces. "You appear to have a huge hole in one tooth. I think we need to find out the root cause."

"Cavity?" asks the man.

"Indeed," says the dentist.

"Cheers guvnor, I take it with six sugars."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/incredibleinkpen
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does Ronald McDonald say before sex?

Bah Dah Bah Bah Bah...Im Glovin' It!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kriskidd21
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Told this to my wife today

Me: What does Ronald McDonald do when he's angry?

Her: (sigh) What??

Me: He McGrrrrs

Her: (groan) please stop......

Me: Does that make you Grimace? (Chuckles)

Her: swift elbow to my ribs You tell me! * Sticks tongue out*

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cneuf802
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife and I went to see a psychiatrist. "What can I do for you?" he asked. "Our son has got an imaginary friend." said my wife.

"There is nothing wrong with a good healthy imagination to help a child to develop and this is very common and nothing to worry about at all." said the psychiatrist.

I grimaced, "We haven't got a son."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Hi Hungry! I'm Dad.

Dropped this nugget on my 9 year old for the millionth time in the car. 20 minute drive home from baseball practice . Today, he turned the tables. "Hi Driving, I'm Son. Hi Frowning, I'm Son. Hi Grimacing, I'm Son. Hi Twitching, I'm Son." So proud right now. #dadwin

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hansbachman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Dadjoke at the Cancer Center...

They keep it at about 18 degrees C here at work, so we give out a lot of warm blankets to patients.

The warmer ran out, and soon after, sure enough, a patient asked me for one.

So I said: "Sorry, we're all out. They're a hot commodity!"

They grimaced...but it could have been the cancer.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 30
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bindher_Dundat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 27 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
On god, it's starting...

Answered the phone the other day...

"Hey man, what're you up to?"

Before I could stop it from coming out of my mouth

"Oh, about 5'9"

I grimaced at myself in the mirror. I suddenly hate being 30.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/In_the_Clips
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 22 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Totally got my fellow law student

Our law fraternity, Phi Alpha Delta is hosting a luncheon with a panel of lawyers today. A friend and I in the frat were talking about what's on the menu, which neither of us knew. Finally, I just said "maybe they'll serve PAD Thai."

Her grimace and groan will fuel my afternoon.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ToonaTheCat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 10 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Math dad joke

In honor of my twins birthday today...My mathematically inclined daughter decided to memorize the first 50 numbers of Pi. After she recited them after only twenty minutes of memorizing I told her "I guess memorizing the digits in Pi is a piece of cake for you!." Got a good grimace for that.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sunnyAZ1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 22 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I got dad joked by a 90 year old patient today

So there I was in the process of helping him walk back to his room. During the walk I happen to look over and he is grimacing in pain with a look of disgust. As a worried healthcare provider, I ask him,

"Patient, you look like you're in pain, how do you feel"?

Without skipping a beat, he looks up into my eyes and with a trembling voice through the pain he replies..

"with my hands"

I was taken aback, not realizing what had just happened to me. He then smiled and startled to chuckle, and only then did I realize I had just been had by a dad and started to laugh myself.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/StankyHoodrat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.