Grilled Meat Puns

It's a barbequeue

Barbie queue

"Don't dare get any of this on your forehead, your tongue will beat your brains out trying to get to it". For 20 years I have hoped for a new joke, at least the meats are tasty.

I make a lot of misteaks.

So I went to the store earlier, and decided to get some steaks and burgers that I could throw on the grill in case our power goes out again (which it probably will). Almost all of the meat was gone from the main part of the case, but I saw some nice cuts in the section up above. I grabbed an employee and asked him to get them down for me, and I asked why they hadn't moved them down already. He just shrugged and said "It's been crazy in here all day. The steaks have never been higher."

About to throw some meat on the grill and said "I'm so glad we're married." She asked me why, and I replied, " so this won't be a miss-steak." I think I'm eating alone tonight.

UPDATE: she decided to meat me at the table, grill me about my sense of humor and wine about how I wasn't funny. At least my daughter likes my puns.

"Hot meat grills in your area"

We were preparing steaks to grill with her family for dinner. As we are tenderizing the meat, she asks me to grab the spices. As I open the cabinet, I grab the spices and exclaim "Ah, tis' the seasoning!"

She did not find it as amusing as I did.

I had steak cooking outside on the grill and when I came back out after a couple of minutes, I found the grill had caught on fire and flames were doing a nice char-grilled number on the meat.

Cue me bursting into full rendition of Alicia Keys' recent song, "This grill is on fire...."

Daughters, wife and mother-in-law were disappointingly unimpressed.

I was building a new deck at the back of my house for a grill. Then I decided that it needed a counter for food prep, holding beers, etc. Well now that I have a counter, wouldn't it be great to have an outdoor fridge? Yes, yes it would. Needless to say, the size of the deck got a little out of control.

My wife sees the framing going up and says, "What do you need all this space for?"

I say, "Grilling meat and relaxation."

She responds, "Are you planning to do yoga while you grill?"

I say, "Yes. Downward Hot Dog."

She quips, "Careful, you wouldn't want to burn your little Warrior."